Malingerer: a kid who hangs out in shopping centers.
The phoneticist went on American Idol, but was booed off the stage on account of his lisp. Afterward this linguist was upset, saying “I can’t believe they dipthed my thong!”
I’m having a Lord of the Rings dinner party! We’re having Hamwise-Sandwichees, with a side of Frodo salad, followed by frog Legolas and Aragorn on the cob. Dessert will be a bowl of mango Saruman and a vodka Gimli.
I thought I could figure out the Rubik’s puzzle in under a minute.
Which US National Park could also be a slang greeting among Jews?
To reduce the numbers of hours people waste watching award shows, many governments are imposing Oscarity measures.
Men should cut their hair before it gets unruly: aka mows before ‘fros.
NED: Did you hear, I’ve become a Scientologist?
ED: No way. You’re nuts.
NED: I really did. It’s Xenu-ist craze!
ED: Well I don’t believe in that nonsense.
NED: Bah. Get behind me, Thetan!
Which actor gave the most grateful Oscar acceptance speech?