Dear Pun Gents, I’m doing research on the beneficial effects of exercise on the heart and need a title for a paper/presentation.  Only work appropriate puns, please. (Donation sent!) ~Kaavya, Cleveland, OH

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Ticker tape parade
2. Get your heart on
3. Exercise makes you heartier
4. Exercise: a hearty meal
5. It’s heart work
6. You aorta know
7. Cardi animals
8. Ventricle treat? [trick or treat]

Dear Pun Gents, a pun for a mom replying to a kid when he complains about only four presents. ~Kate, Atlanta, GA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Cad’oh! [if you are French]
2. Don’t make me box your ears.
3. Sorry, that’s a wrap!
4. Look who’s stocking now.
5. Don’t act Wise Man with me. (Hey, Jesus only got three.)
6. Do I detect a note of Presentment?

Dear Pun Gents, I am looking for my roller derby name.  Based on my legal name (Kim Demone), my stature (small), my place of origin (east coast-Nova Scotia), or my hockey background. ~Kim, Canmore, AB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT

1. Mary Timer
2. Demone Child
3. Nikki Nova Scotia
4. S. Kate Blades
5. Bladey Jane

Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a bowling team name for a party where my girlfriend is turning 50. ~Mel, Del Rio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We’re Never Splitting
2. No Spare Tires
3. Lane With You
4. 10 Pins, 50 Candles
5. Strike ManDate
6. The Pinishers
7. Pin it to Win it
8. Thanks for your donation, Mel!

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a group of nine women who love to drink are headed to Las Vegas for the half-marathon the first week of December 2011.  We need a clever name for our team shirts.  Please help!  ~Katharine, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Martini Boppers
2. A Stirred in the Hand
3. 13-Miley Cyruses
4. 13 Miles, 26 Oz
5. Mango Lasses
6. Queens of the Cosmo’s
7. Boozundeit
8. Laps and Relapse
9. Kahlualass
10. Tequila Stocking Birds
11. Running on Empties
12. Raising the Bartender
13. Talk the Detox
14. Tavern and Shirleys
15. Beers are not Enough
16. Desert Heat
17. Jet Legged
18. Stride Me
19. The Vodkouple (if there were two of you)
20. Distill my Heart
21. PS thanks for the donation!

Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a team name for my daughter’s Polar Bear Plunge team for the Special Olympics. ~Tracy, Sykseville, MD

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bear Bottoms
2. Hungry Hungry Hypos
3. Plungevity
4. Gimme One Freezin’
5. Snowlympians
6. Golden Coldies
7. Froze before Toes

Dear Pun Gents, we are two girls and one guy in a weight loss competition. Donation made! ~Owen, Bonita Springs, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Riddish Pounds
2. If Looks Could Kilo
3. Loss of Physics
4. We Love Handles Messiah
5. Weight to Go
6. No Mo Mayo Clinic
7. Skinnisiology
8. SizeMic
9. Thinaman Hearts
10. Slender Bender

Dear Pun Gents, I am participating in a breast cancer walk—60 miles in 3 days. I held a fundraiser at my hospital with a dunking booth where we dunked physicians and administrators. Repeating at another location…would like to sell t-shirts at this event.  Can you help me think of a slogan for the front of the shirt? ~Margaret, Richmond, VA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The Dunking Boob
2. Dunkin Doctors - let’s see your DDs for charity
3. Dry out in the dunk tank?
4. Breast Cancer Walk - on Water
5. MD your pockets for a good cause.
6. It’s Wetting Season
7. Soak and Water
8. I Make Doctors Moist
9. When I hit your target, you get wet
10. Dunkaschen! (for the donation too)

Dear Pun Gents, puns about rugs. ~McKayla, Fayetteville, TN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Whenever I get home I am immediately on rugs.
2. Don’t ruin a rug. That’s carpetal punishment.

Dear Pun Gents, I work in a cinema and was wondering if you could send a cinema/popcorn-related pun. Thanks. ~Colin, Kilkenny, Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We put butters in seats.
2. My favourite movie character? Kernel Kurtz
3. Favourite movie? The Hunt for Redenbachertober.

Dear Pun Gents, I need some suggestions for a roller derby name.  I’m a bit of a petrol-head who also likes murder mysteries. ~Karen, Scotland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Auntie Christie
2. Rhoda Chopper
3. Mustang Sally

Dear Pun Gents, we need a name for our Relay for Life team. We are a group of young survivors and need something great.  There are a lot of names like Fight til it’s Right or Fight Through the Night. We want something original. Please help us. ~Amy, Hannibal, MO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Can Soar Society
2. The Beat It Dudes
3. See You in Health
4. Chemochameleons
5. Remission Accomplished

Dear Pun Gents, our high-school environmental club is selling coffee mugs and travel mugs to raise money. We need an environment-related and drink-related pun to put on the mugs! ~Vivian, Vancouver, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Save the rainforests. Drink Java.
2. I’m in-disposed
3. Ever bean enviro-friendly?
4. No more paper view.
5. Wasting paper cups is high tree sin.
6. Save the planet. Get mugged.

Dear Pun Gents, we have a team of 1 guy and 3 girls in the Lexington 5K Urbanathlon. Need something clever and funny - know you can help! ~Nick, Lexington, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Lex and the City
2. One Nick, Three Chicks, Five Clicks
3. Run D-SC
4. Roger Urbanister [Roger Bannister = 1st man to run a 4-minute mile]
5. Obstacular Spectacular

Dear Pun Gents, I’m starting an a cappella group at our School of Natural Resources and Environment and I’d like a punny name that combines musical terms with environmental terms. ~Naomi, Ann Arbor, MI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. A cappellecology
2. Sound Policy
3. Resource Distraction
4. Do no Harmony

Dear Pun Gents, I need a roller derby name. Something to do with toxicology and drugs. ~Gail, Perth, Scotland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Dharma Ceutical
2. Poison P Illsa
3. Toxanne
4. ODessa
5. Elsa D

Dear Pun Gents, I’m looking for a punny team name for my field hockey team (indoor) for our tournament. Can you find something that will reference field hockey? Thanks. ~Sara, Regina, SK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The Terribullies
2. Weapons of Mass Obstruction
3. Homi-Side-in Maniacs

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun to ask a girl to prom. She plays volleyball, so it can be related to that. ~Josh, San José, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Dear Pun Gents, my choir is getting t-shirts and I need a good pun to adorn them (high school-appropriate, please) ~Jac, Bay City

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. I’m Choired Right Now
2. Come to Sing Sing
3. No Harmony Done
4. Duet, Where my Harmony?
5. And I Love Hymn
6. Do You  Watch the Sopranos?

Dear Pun Gents, we are selling a 2011 Yearbook for Glenridge Middle School. Something catchy and fresh! Please and thank you. ~Irma, Winter Park, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Haven’t you heard? The Earbook > Facebook.
2. Ridge for the Stars
3. Yearbook: That’s what’s school.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name for a jug curling tournament. Our friend’s team is called Nice Jugs. Something provocative would be great. ~Ryan, Ottawa, ON

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. You Don’t Have the Stones
2. We’re no Rockheads
3. Skips and Juggles
4. Jugular
5. Jugger Naughty

Dear Pun Gents, my friends and I from work are doing a 5k.  Along with the running there are “obstacles from hell.”  It is called the warrior dash. ~Tara, Lufkin, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Dash 5
2. Obsteamious
3. Obstacular
4. What, Me Warrior?

Dear Pun Gents, we’re 5 girls, 2 guys running in an ultra marathon starting at one brewing company and ending at another. Need a short, drinking-related name! ~Heather, Roeland Park, KS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We Run Pasteur
2. Faster, Higher, Lager
3. Hops Scotch
4. Rock Hard ABVs [Alcohol By Volume]
5. Barrely Alive

Dear Pun Gents, I’m writing a story about a castle that was converted into a tavern. I think it needs a punny name, don’t you? ~Hadley, Saskatoon, SK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Sit Your Buttress Down
2. Come Get Pilastered
3. The Bar Bican
4. The DramBridge
5. Get Your Moater Running
6. Redoubtful Renovation
7. We’re All Out of Stockade
8. Lunchin’ in a Dungeon

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for a PeepToe shoes competition. ~Sydney, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Shoe to Kill
2. A Toes to the Winner!
3. Heel the Masses
4. StilettoUs Know How You Feel
5. Get Instep
6. Join the Peeple

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun about partying dinosaurs. Something work-appropriate, please. ~Stacia, Athens, GA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. They wanted to Tri assic
2. Rock out to T-Rex
3. Dinosaur parties are epoch
4. Fossilzzle!
5. Avoid talking to the borontosaurs
6. Bring your triceratop-hat

Dear Pun Gents, we are a co-ed softball team with a new sponsor this year - Flight Wine Bar. Looking for a good name! ~Michelle, Glenview, IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Wining!
2. Flight of Stars
3. Barbie Eyes
4. Slo Pitch, Quick Shots
5. Out of the Cellar

Dear Pun Gents, I want to ask my guy friend to the prom as friends. We are both really into jazz music; I play trombone and he plays bass. I need a jazz/music pun for asking him to prom. ~Keri, Charlottetown, PEI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Dear Pun Gents, we’re trying to come up with a fun name for a wall display showing the good feedback we get about our email help desk at work. So far I’ve only been able to come up with “the rating’s on the wall.” ~Muirean, Dublin, Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. ResPonzi Scheme
2. How wall are we doing?
3. The Wailing Wall
4. This wall is carved in comment.
5. Eval-holla
6. Email Mall

Dear Pun Gents, I need a funny team name for a girls intramural softball team at my college. All of the girls are music majors or minors. Needs to be clean. ~Kassie, Brownwood, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bar Be Eyes [RBIs]
2. Aces of Bases
3. Ludwig van Basethrowven
4. Handel the Bat
5. Bat Girls
6. Treble Play
7. Fever Pitch
8. Slide Trombones
9. SwingandaMissimo

Dear Pun Gents, I’m creating a modding shop and came up with the name Modzilla. Need a good motto under the logo, but haven’t got there yet. Any ideas? ~Konstantinos, Helsinki, Finland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. A Vicious Modster
2. Get Mod, Get Even
3. Her Modusty’s Secret Service
4. The Adjustment Bureau
5. Flavour of the Tweak

Dear Pun Gents, need of a pun about giving up control/surrender for a church activity. Your help is very much appreciated! ~Hilary, Grand Junction, CO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Hungry for God? Go on a sub mission
2. The struggle? Yes Sir, end ‘er.
3. The Happy Days were when Joani loved Churchi [ok that is brutal]
4. Quit hot doggin’ — add some relig’.
5. It takes a big person to surrender the controller.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun to include the word MIMO (multiple input multiple output), reflecting a hub for the exchange of news, thoughts and ideas. I thought of puns like MIMOre and MIMOtion, but you are obviously better at this. ~Danny, תל אביב, Israel

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. MIMOzone
2. Land of MIMOz
3. MIMOry
4. MIMOzine

Dear Pun Gents, I need a derby name. Maybe sometime to do with rugby or science. Toughish sounding. Thanks! ~Jackye, Urbana, IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Mauly Sevens [rugby]
2. Barbie Aryan [rugby]
3. Asskick Newton
4. Cap ‘er NicAss
5. Kim O’Kill

Dear Pun Gents, two other ladies and I are running a marathon relay and we need a punny team name, possibly incorporating our love for imbibing, running, and/or how not fast we are. Thanks! ~Erika, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The 26ers [26 mile race/ 26 oz bottle of booze]
2. Jog Wild
3. Pain for Drinks
4. Limbibers
5. Pace Be With You
6. Running on Empties

Dear Pun Gents, I’m an illustration artist looking for a pun to match a logo titled Venue such as “What’s on the venue?” ~Eddie, Savannah, GA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Venues de Milo
2. Women are from Venues
3. Veni, Vidi, Venue
4. Venue gonna call?
5. Venue-clear capable [nuclear capable]
6. Venue it was You

Dear Pun Gents, we are holding a charity book event on Friday and need ideas for table names. We are naming each table with a pun on an author name e.g. The Wilde Things. Do you have any suggestions? ~Anne, Romsey, Hampshire, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Rowling Stomachs
2. The Shaw Mens
3. ReJoycers
4. The Toyl Stoydiers
5. Woolf Men
6. Apostles of Christie
7. The RacKoontz
8. Fine Yong Cannibals
9. Scarry Faces
10. Barbie Dahls

Dear Pun Gents, my co-ed football team is trying to think of a name with a sexual pun to it. That’s what the captain wants.  Something where Will Ferrell would say haha. ~Olivia, Fayetteville, NC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Tight Ends [too obvious]
2. Poonters
3. Hut Slots
4. We Touch Down There
5. No Cuddle Offense
6. Line of Rimmage
7. Third and Long

Dear Pun Gents, I’m doing a web guide for students attending a university open day, and need a pun. Help. ~Wallace, Sunderland

Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a bowling team at work. We are a drilling team that drill gas wells offshore. ~CD, Doha, Qatar

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Rolling in Doha
2. The Qataracts: We Strike You Blind
3. The Drillionaires
4. Offshore Things
5. The Spillage People
6. Power Ball Lads
7. A Spare a Gas
8. Gas Spare Tame? [yikes]

Dear Pun Gents, I am an optometry student and I’m looking for a pun theme for our fancy annual party called ‘Eyeball’ (e.g. eyeland of enchantment, apple of my eye). Thank you! ~Sarah, St. Louis, MO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. This Ball is Ophthal Wall
2. Tropical Eye Lens Theme
3. Under the See
4. Naughty Pupils
5. Myopium
6. A Blinkin’
7. Dilate M for Murder
8. The Glauc of the Irish
9. Smooth Lacrimals
10. Lasik Sunday
11. Macula Conception
12. Nystag Party
13. Vitreous is Sweet
14. Get in the Zonule

Dear Pun Gents, we have a group of 10 girls running a 5K race that has different obstacles and free beer at the end, and we’d love your help with our team name. The event is called Go Commando 5K. ~Laura, St. Paul, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The 10 Commandoments
2. Girls Run Wild
3. Shoed to Kill
4. The Obstacle Chorus
5. Commando 5k - The Free Beards for Free Beer

Dear Pun Gents, this is for a project: I need fly-related puns. The names of the flies have to be incorporated with the puns.
Thank you! ~Sou, Seattle

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Yawn. Reading about flies all night makes me a bit drosophila.
2. The fly diptera foot in the water.
3. The buzz of a fly is muscidae to my ears!
4. Horseflies make us stupid. They want tabanideas.
5. Mayflies may not - which makes them easy to kill.

Dear Pun Gents, a pun about Lewis & Clark. ~Sophia, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. As explorers, they must have got tired. After I while I bet they were just searching for the Northwest Massage.
2. How did Lewis insult Clark? “You Suckagawaea!”
3. Their obsession with reaching the west coast aka a Pacifixation.

Dear Pun Gents, help! We need a clever new name for our ladies seniors 4.0 USTA tennis team. We play at an indoor facility called Sound Shore Tennis. Thanks! ~Carol, Rye, NY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Court Chesters [for Sound Shore in Port Chester NY]
2. Unforced Heiress
3. Top Seed Turvy
4. Line Judge Judies
5. Shore Things
6. Groundmothers
7. Gram Slams
8. Baby Got Backswing
9. Serve me a Double

Dear Pun Gents, we need a team name for an amazing race type event, called Gorilla Challenge. We are a group of four friends: two guys and two girls. Thanks! ~Seth, Magnolia, TX (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Hot Gorillas Rule
2. The Ape Team
3. The Monkeys
4. Orangu Crush
5. We’re Bringing Silver Back
6. It’s Good-All Good
7. Banana Republicans
8. The Panzees

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing a scientific paper, and the titles of such papers are often puns. The topic of the paper is looking at fruit and seeing whether the phylogenetic trees you can construct based on morphological features match the known trees for these fruit. ~Alex, London, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Fruit 66: A phylogenetic roadmap
2. There a Pears to be a Connection…
3. Appled Science
4. Phylogenetic Trees Arboring?
5. Peach de Resistance
6. A Theory with many Applecations
7. A Branch of Theory that Bears Fruit

Dear Pun Gents, I am setting up a residential lettings agency and would like a memorable business name. Help! ~Mitzy, London, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. EasyLease
2. Prop Hotty
3. Rent & Simply [Ren & Stimpy]
4. Live and Let
5. The Live and Let Guys
6. Doctor House
7. Maison D’Etre
8. Anacondo

Dear Pun Gents, I am starting a hang-out joint based on communication; specifically Google-driven Android phones. Need a happy theme name based on the many applications they offer. ~Edward, Nakuru, Kenya (long-time fan)

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. App Repos
2. Bon App-etit
3. Go Ogle Me
4. Comm Union
5. Appy Go Lucky
6. Bar Five [as in, signal bars]
7. What’s App?