cycling

Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he  never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]

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THE BICLOPS

Dear Pun Gents, My brother and I are cycling nearly 1000 miles from John O’Groats to Lands End. We’re doing it for a mental health charity, but we both have a sense of humour. We’re not small, both above 6ft4, so there’s some visual comedy in seeing two massive doofus’s pedal a push bike. We really need a team name that covers it all off. ~Andy, Chester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT;

  1. United Kinkdom
  2. The Biclops
  3. The Cycle Ops
  4. One Thousand Miles Per Horror
  5. Distance Relatives
  6. Distant Relations
  7. The British Rural Family
  8. The Calf Lick Church
  9. Quad Erat Demonstrandum
  10. Derring Doofuses
  11. The Cy-clones [if you were twins]
  12. Men Tall Health
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MULTIPLE SCLEROADIES

Dear Pun Gents, I need an MS Bike Team Name. Key words: Greg, Lutzen, Wisconsin, Diverse Group, Amateurs, Finish, Prevail, Multiple Sclerosis, Cycling, Team, Bike Ride. ~Kamala, Arlington Heights

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Rode to Victory
  2. Nothing to Lutzen
  3. Wishconsin
  4. Gregorian Chains
  5. Amatouring
  6. Amatours
  7. Amatour Hour
  8. MSaries
  9. EFF MS
  10. MS Messenger
  11. Sclero Heros
  12. Scleroadies
  13. Multiple Scleroadies
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ENDO THE LINE

Dear Pun Gents, I need help with a team name. We are entering a four-man team in a 24-hour mountain bike race. We are entering the team in the over forties category. ~Mathew, Dubbo
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. Gearonimo
  2. Two-Four The Road
  3. Bonkologists
  4. Spins and Wheedles
  5. Get Forty [Get Shorty]
  6. Fogey Weather
  7. Hillrazers [Hellraiser]
  8. Be spoke styles
  9. The painful quad
  10. Deraill trails
  11. The Hemano groupo (Shimano grouppo)
  12. The Dirt Digglers
  13. The French rabbits (lapin’s)
  14. MTBeer cans
  15. Four guys looking for a bonk
  16. Endo the line
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TOUR DE FRIENDS

Dear Pun Gents, my husband and I are forming a cycling team to do charity rides (we don’t race anymore) with some friends from LA. We are from Massachusetts (Cape Cod). Happy to pay your fee for some good names! ~Kim, Orleans

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Gearly Beloved
  2. CodPieces
  3. Bikoastal
  4. Tour de Friends
  5. Dirty MassCals
  6. Ex Race
  7. The Cause Way
  8. Velociposse
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