Safety advice from Dante? When entering the Inferno, wear a helmet.
Puns about landmine mishaps can be classified as a leg gory.
I was run over by a sports car. Now I have Corvetture of the spine.
I started my business in a building with low doorway heights. It has a lot of ‘Oh, forehead!’
In a car accident, the Mercedes bends.
When a mathematician suffers a flesh wound, he should apply a Gauzian distribution of bandages. And remember to use Fermat pressure.
If a Jedi master was blinded by a stick, I wouldn’t respect him a single eye Yoda.
A broken leg isn’t serious. It tends to be a femur-al.
If you shoot someone in the eye you might not kill them, but you might give them Glock coma.
How is British Petroleum like speech recognition software?
British Petroleum can also wreck a nice beach.