If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d write Oil Wells that End Well.
The doctors went lawn bowling in the middle of my surgery. Needless to say they bocce’d the procedure.
I broke my leg dancing. My new nickname is Saturday Night Femur.
Chernobyl radiation victims can no longer sue. There is a statute of limb-mutations. The defendants will be held armless.
My friend died from a bee sting. Histaminer suddenly changed. Too bad, swell guy, but it wasn’t anaph to save him. At least the puffins didn’t get him.
What does a cat say when it bumps its head? “Me ow.”
If I was trapped 69 days in a hole, I wouldn’t mine. It’s a bit too Chile on the surface.
I totaled my Audi. Now it’s an Inni.
Don’t vote for candidate Rick Yoot! If you do, you’ll be Elect Rick Yoot-ed.
Whenever I drive in the snow I feel skiddish.