Drooling is my new religion. It’s the only path to salivation.
The medieval monks were forced to bottle and vend their farts, as a form of sell-flatulation.
Being broke, I held my birthday in an outdoor latrine. Cause I’m too portapottie.
Which assassin farted in a crowded theatre box?
John Wilts Booth.
As a stumbling drunk threw up all over my garden one night I looked up at the sky and whispered, ‘This is truly heavin’ on earth.”
Sterilizing food with urine is, unfortunately, a pees meal solution.
What is bird poop? Goo gull it!
NED: I won’t tolerate potty talk.
ED: Why not?
NED: Because, it’s looed!
ED: You seem quite johndiced! You’re flush with rage.
NED: I have toilet you know this.
ED: Don’t be a pooer sport.
NED: Oh, now urine for it!
Green vegetables make me fart. We’re talkin’ kale force winds.
My dog only got castrated once. But he gets me new turd every day.