When the rain fell on our heads it was like glorious piss. So I quoted Shakespeare, saying “The sky is a most excellent can o’ pee.”
NED: It’s raining spiders!
ED: Oh no.
NED: It’s a tarantula downpour!
There’s been a surge in prostitute activity, which can be traced to global warming; aka a Whoricane (or Whornado). On the other side of the world this is known as a Thai poon.
With Danielle, then Earl, and then Fiona, we see that storms are named according to letters of the alphabet, with alternating genders. They should call them his and hurricanes.
Those who shovel snow deserve a plows!
Why would the girthsome fellow only leave his house during a blizzard?
Because of the ‘wide out’ conditions.
Predicting the wind is a vane pursuit.
When the glacier was asked for an opinion on global warming, it replied “I dunno, I’ve never really thawed about it.”
When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. “But, but,” the unsuspecting tourist protested, “all I said was ‘gee, it’s hot!‘”
Crime goes up at the end of winter. When I got home the other day my house was burglarized. I said ‘This is the first robbin’ of spring!’