I regretted my sex change. They’re making a documentary about it: Scrotal Recall.
Now for a very special series: Our STI movie night! Caught on the big screen*, in HPV-D!
- Warts of the World
- Extraordinary Pimples
- Gonorrhea in 60 Seconds, starring V.Diesel (an infectious horror show!)
- Schindler’s Syphilist
- Pus in Booty
- The Quickie and The Dead
- Sleeping with the Emnity
- Star Whores Episode II: Attack of the Colons
Followed by a live performance of wandering menstruals!
*or catch it virally on YouTube
Did you hear about the dyslexic gambler who was addicted to Jack Black movies?
There’s a rom-com about a girl marrying an insurance agent, they call it Love, Actuarially
Someone threw a glass eye at my newly augmented breasts, causing injury. They could make a movie about it: The Borrow An Eye, Dent a Titty.
Locutus suffered from excess flatulation after feasting on the s’more gas Borg.
Poorly dubbed films are full of video syncracies.
Before live-action pornography was legalized, XXX videos were shot exclusively in Playmation.
Hear about that high-tech thriller, about a submarine crew that gets lost at sea due to extreme computer failure? It’s called DOS Boot. As the movie unfolds it’s clear that the vessel’s discipline was lax: not a mouse was stirring while some key bored personnel were in the washroom taking a FTP. The submarine was suddenly swamped by torrents of WAVs, and couldn’t make it to the dock. Windows were stupidly left open, resulting in an impossible Turing radius as they were overwhelmed by the C. It was a Unix situation, and as they twirled out into the ethernet the captain radioed the nearest B-52 Flying Fortran for help. “This hertz, Mac,” he cried. “It megahertz! I need a pier-to-pier transfer.” But due to BASIC errors and faulty navigation they could not find anchor, and crashed, leaving no possibility for a SQL.
The actor who played the lisping stammerer in The King’s Speech is my Firth choice for Oscar.