History’s most agreeable tyrant: William the Concurrer.
world leaders
Little known Russian history fact: it was after only walking into a window that Gorbachev embraced glassnosed. Years of pane followed, but he pursued it untempered. He sharded a new course.
Any plot to assassinate the president is die-Obama-cal.
What’s George Bush’s response to thousands of bodies wounded and mutilated in Iraq and Afghanistan?
“Keep surgeon the troops!”
NED: Why would Castro enjoy a breakfast of poached eggs with hollandaise sauce and a side of potatoes?
ED: I dunno, why?
NED: ‘Cuz, he’s benedict tater!
Boris Yeltsin drank so much he became glassnosed.
Which Chinese leader always finished his holiday purchases early? Deng Xiaoping.
How does ‘Father Earth’ dance so well?
Well, he’s a scientist, so he uses an Algoreithm.
When he was a young man Fidel Castro went to a Cuban psychic and asked if she could tell anything about him. The old woman looked at Fidel closely and declared, “You should avoid alcohol at all costs. Because when you are drunk I predict that you will make waves, overthrow governments, and stir up revolution!” She pointed at him, “So do not, under any circumstances, become inebriated!”
Well, El Commandante was put off. This was ridiculous:
“Me, a drunken revolutionary?” he replied, “that’s preposterous!” And he pointed a finger back, “Ma’am, you are a crook and a charlatan. Why, I don’t even believe in stupor-sedition!”
What’s Gadhafi’s favourite word game? Mad Libyas.