NED: I’m hooked on bird puns!
ED: Oh no
NED: I’m a heron addict – a total loon.
ED: Oh no!
NED: I’m thinking of sticking up a bank, and holding everyone ostrich!

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The embattled Russian emperor was thrown into a ditch. Upon being pulled out, he remarked, “I am not a fan of Czar chasm.”

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The man who broke up with his longtime girlfriend went on a consolational fruit-eating binge. When asked how he was handling it, the fellow merely raised a half-eaten piece of produce. “Can’t you see,” he said, “I am in the depths of this pear.

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Hear about the independent sheep who wanted muttonomy? The ram’s drive for freedom goated her on.

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