Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?
Because he who acetates is loused.
Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?
Because he who acetates is loused.
What did Philip II of Macedon say when his son refused to give up the cheese-slicer to the maid?
“Alex, hand her the grate!”
What do you call a database of prisoners’ wigwams?
A table of con tents.
What do you call it when a French psychoanalyst falls on the winter ice?
A froidian slip of course!
Q. Would your father rather tend to his marijuana grow-op, or sing children’s songs?
A. Pop hoes the weed soil.
Sir Isaac Newton, upon watching a large crowd of peasants pointlessly measure the duration of a speech about wheel rods, announced with ridicule – “mass-timed axel oration equals farce!”
Why does milk explore interstellar space when ingested by a seagull?
Because it’s enter-gull-lactic!
Why should you face death by firing squad instead of running a marathon?
Because it’s better to be strafed than sore-kneed.