NED: You know, it’s really a crime to let untreated steel get wet.
ED: Really, that’s fascinating…
NED: Yes – once I was involved in a hit-and-run oxidant, and it led to my arrust.
Ned and Ed
NED: Do you blog?
ED: No.
NED: Really, I thought you did.
ED: Well, I do keep a diarrhea, but only on Splatterdays.
NED: I refuse to write poetry about pigs’ knees.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: It’s against my religion. I don’t do pigs’ knees. Is that controversial?
ED: Well, you sure have a hardline stanza on a boar shin!
NED: I just ate at a really expensive pancake place…
ED: Was it too much money?
NED: Absolutely. It was ugly, just a crepe and billage!
NED: I just got kicked in the nuts…
ED: Oh no – that’s pistachiownage!
NED: Eating yogurt gives me pornographic hallucinations.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah. I think it’s the acidophallus.
NED: Ouch!
ED: What?
NED: You! Why’d you just prick me with that pushpin?
ED: Sorry. It seems you were in my zone of a tack.
NED: I dropped my jar of strawberry jam. It landed on the floor!
ED: Oh no.
NED: Now it’s busted. I wasn’t ex-pectin that.
NED: I heard your new flatmate is made of Jello?
ED: What? That’s ridiculous!
NED: Really.
ED: Those are just viscous roomers!
NED: Have you heard it through the grape vine?
ED: No, I don’t keep up with currant events.
NED: C’mon, you should be raisin your awareness!
ED: Hey – quit winin‘!
NED: I’m just trying to give you a lil’ viticulture…
ED: Aw, put a cork in it.