NED: I believe Homeland Security depends on two things:
ED: What’s that?
NED: First, honouring our sheep, and second, constipating our pigeons.
ED: Really?
NED: Yes! Everyone knows that ewe-knighted we stand, while dove-voided we fall.
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...NED: It’s raining spiders!
ED: Oh no.
NED: It’s a tarantula downpour!
(5 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5)Loading...NED: Why are the inheritors of writing instrument empire fortunes always from the middle east?
ED: Because they’re heir ‘o Bic.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...NED: If I grab your ass in a bar, it’s not my fault.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: Because I suffer from copaphilia!
(2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...NED: I saw Benedict kneeling over.
ED: Is he OK?
NED: Yeah he’s just praying. Don’t worry, everything’s pope-ascetic.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...NED: I just farted on you!
ED: Why, you cretin – I am a gassed!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...NED: I’m hooked on bird puns!
ED: Oh no
NED: I’m a heron addict – a total loon.
ED: Oh no!
NED: I’m thinking of sticking up a bank, and holding everyone ostrich!
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...NED: How was your trip to the farm?
ED: Very bizarre!
NED: Why’s that?
ED: Well, I never thought I’d see a wasp screwing a bull, butt lowin’ bee-hole – there it was!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...NED: St Patrick’s day is 10 months away. Should I work on my Irish accent?
ED: No, if it ain’t brogue, don’t fix it.
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...NED: Did you just touch my ass?
ED: Sure did.
NED: You’re a pervert.
ED: Just call me butter cup!
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...