NED: I caught you heating up your own booger!
ED: So?
NED: Your goos is cooked!
Ned and Ed
NED: I’ve got a shameful scientific confession.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Well, I’ve been dabbling in…
ED: What is it?
NED: Well, it’s reverse-life-cycle cloning…
ED: What??
NED: Yes. Reverse-life-cycle cloning. I can’t bear the guilt any more…
ED: For god’s sake, man – get an old of yourself!
NED: I cut my leg. It’s bleeding.
ED: Quick, get a bandage.
NED: I can’t. I don’t believe in gauze.
ED: Huh?
NED: It’s true. I am ragnostic.
NED: Did you know that arthropods have hard shells made out of glucose?
ED: No way! You’ve gotta be chitin me!
NED: Did you hear, I’ve become a Scientologist?
ED: No way. You’re nuts.
NED: I really did. It’s Xenu-ist craze!
ED: Well I don’t believe in that nonsense.
NED: Bah. Get behind me, Thetan!
NED: Someone stole rosemary from my garden!
ED: Really?
NED: Yes – I feel quite dissed herbed!
NED: I think all radios are sexist.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: Because, I AM/FM-inist!
NED: I don’t trust people who talk about staining wood.
ED: Why not?
NED: Because – they are say-tannic.
NED: I guess I’m a pretty poor sport.
ED: Really, how’s that?
NED: Well, when the coach refuses to play me, I scream like a benchee!
NED: I have a knocker on my house door.
ED: Really. You have a knocker.
NED: Does that impress you?
ED: Yes. You deserve the No Bell prize.