Citizens have the inalienable right to smoke, according to the Constitution. It’s enshrined in the Billow Rights.

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VP candidate Sarah claims to know that the world was created 6,000 years ago—but most Palin-ontologists would disagree.

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When he was a young man Fidel Castro went to a Cuban psychic and asked if she could tell anything about him. The old woman looked at Fidel closely and declared, “You should avoid alcohol at all costs. Because when you are drunk I predict that you will make waves, overthrow governments, and stir up revolution!” She pointed at him, “So do not, under any circumstances, become inebriated!”

Well, El Commandante was put off. This was ridiculous:

“Me, a drunken revolutionary?” he replied, “that’s preposterous!” And he pointed a finger back, “Ma’am, you are a crook and a charlatan. Why, I don’t even believe in stupor-sedition!”

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My Soviet-made car never worked. It had a Lada problems. It was a Lenin. It kept Stalin; I would always have to use my feet, and Trotsky to work – and that is total Bolshevik!

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