They say first year university is difficult, but students actually sophomore in their second year.
The average length of time taken for a new faculty member to attain the rank of full professor at a university is around ten years.
I want to get a 9 to 5 job, so I’m giving up my fun-loving college lifestyle. I’m so tired of the frat race!
I was skinny in high school, so when I got to university I joined a fatternity: eta omega pi
John Wayne Bobbitt was a university research chair with a sizeable endowment, until his fun-dong was suddenly cut off.
When the President of Harvard elected to fumigate the entire university, people accused him of having loused his faculties.
When in university, proctologists have a hard time making ends meet. Some even have to resort to prostate tuition.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
NED: Will you help me pass my French exam?
ED: Sure, no problem at all.
NED: Oh thank you. I am full of grad etude!
Too many graduate students are lazy. I call them the indiligentsia.