When the President of Harvard elected to fumigate the entire university, people accused him of having loused his faculties.
I want to get a 9 to 5 job, so I’m giving up my fun-loving college lifestyle. I’m so tired of the frat race!
Why do cannibals attending university only eat the head, the buttocks and the genitals?
Because they’re so skull-ass-dick!
NED: Hear about the Greek mafia?
ED: Yeah – they always threaten to put a kappa in my ass!
NED: Didn’t they murder a bunch of Newfoundlanders?
ED: No – that was the psychotic Greek fraternity, Kappa Nu Phi.
NED: What about that strange fraternity located along the Nile river, it was called Chi Rho Delta, that now wants to open a bake shop.
ED: You mean Nu Pi Delta. Once I Eta Pithere – it was too expensive and now I Omega. But it was a big dessert. I Eta Omega Pi!
NED: Well I’m getting a little tired of Nu Pi Delta, as is their sister sorority.
ED: Xi Xi Xi?
NED: That’s right. And what about the fraternity for Esperanto lovers – Nu Alpha Beta.
ED: Or that sorority for fashionable fat ladies: Nu Mu Mu. My poodle got eaten there!
NED: I thought that was Eta Phi-Phi.
ED: And to get revenge on those ladies I borrowed a semiautomatic weapon. But I lost it and now it has to be replaced.
NED: Iota Nu Xi can help you with that.
ED: What about penis enlargement?
NED: Try Psi Xi Omega.
ED: Did you know dragon boat lovers are meeting at Rho Rho Rho?
NED: That’s nothing. The pranksters at Tau Rho Mu stack cows one atop the other!
ED: Funny, I had a beef patty the other day.
NED: At Eta Mu Pi?
ED: Yes. Say – did you hear about that kinky lesbian sorority. Legend has it Michael Douglas’ wife and Delta Burke had a fling there.
NED: You mean Delta Eta Zeta?
Do social media professors wear Tweet jackets?
I was skinny in high school, so when I got to university I joined a fatternity: eta omega pi
The phoneticist went on American Idol, but was booed off the stage on account of his lisp. Afterward this linguist was upset, saying “I can’t believe they dipthed my thong!”
When in university, proctologists have a hard time making ends meet. Some even have to resort to prostate tuition.
Any academic who leaves the country is a subject matter export.
Any theory about baby behaviour must have many crawleries.