Tricycle riders dabble in communism.
I like the Winter Olympics, although they do tend to be a bit hockey after a while.
Are Rolaids banned in the Paralympics?
When it came to basketball, Abdul-Jabbar was the Kareem of the crop.
When Sir Edmund Hillary got a chance to pitch in a baseball match, he fell asleep at the rubber. He must have thought it was Mound Have-a-Rest!
Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]
The boxer who turned priest found much glee in visiting his former ring opponents who were now old and sick, and administering a few last rights.
I pray before every archery match. Aimin’ to that.
Who’s the strongest basketball player? A: LeBron.
The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry.