current events puns :: PunGents.com

11/06/2019

Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]

(10 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

10/30/2019

The angry mob tortured the newspaper editor by cooking him inside a Rose of Mohammed. It was the dark days – of the Danish Imposition.

(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

10/23/2019

50 Shades of Grey made me puke up my lunch – in fact it gave me a reading disorder. Whoever wrote it is ill literate.

(4 votes, average: 2.25 out of 5)

10/05/2019

Plastic fruit will be banned at the upcoming G8/20 summits in Toronto. Officials have to secure the pear-imitator.

(3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)

08/31/2019

It was recently discovered that spearfishers are gay. Because they Lance Bass.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

08/20/2019

A new sovereign nation has appeared quite Sudanly.

(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)

08/18/2019

In Macauley Culkin’s latest film, Home Loan: everyone know which villains are at default. There’s a celebration for Wall Street bankers, and they catch the bad guys at a subprime party.

(3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)

08/16/2019

Morgan Tsvangirai, the leader of the opposition was silenced this week because he’s in Bob’s way.

(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)

08/05/2019

When Obama makes decisions he is unduly influenced by his Boehner.

(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)

07/17/2019

If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d write Oil Wells that End Well.

(7 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)