Barack Obama is much younger than his Republican rival. He was recently quoted as declaring, “I don’t need my cane as president!”
current events
What’s Gadhafi’s favourite word game? Mad Libyas.
The dyslexic experimental farmer couldn’t believe they caught the guy behind Kiwi-leeks.
It was recently discovered that spearfishers are gay. Because they Lance Bass.
All eyes are on Tiger’s wood. It’s affair way to heaven to marry a celebrity, but I wouldn’t take him back for alimony in the world.
What Obama suffered from after the holidays: Presidential eggnog-urination.

New Puns on Demand filled today!
The most popular language in the world right now is Sheenese.
The New Orleans levy inspectors will be forever dammed.
Wasn’t there an oil rigger in that group, the Spillage People?
Lance Armstrong felt better after appearing on Oprah. She gave him performance-enhancing hugs. Nonetheless, Lance committed male fraud: He was master of the pellets-on. Somehow he  never failed his testes—he didn’t stop until he had one. Now, stripped of his Tour titles, the most shocking revelation is that Lance has a No Jersey accent. Anyway I guess it’s back to eating Sheryl Crow. [The Gents thank Ashley, Bryan and Jordan for collaborating on today’s puns!]