fruit puns :: PunGents.com

Which fruit must be courted traditionally? Cantaloupe.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

Lawyers in the produce industry have a turnip-client privilege. So do the advocados.

(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

If I tell you I’m afraid of apple orchards, will you tell me to grow a pear?

(9 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)

Choking on fruit? Call the pear-emetics.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

Plastic fruit will be banned at the upcoming G8/20 summits in Toronto. Officials have to secure the pear-imitator.

(3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)

A bean is not a citrus fruit. That would be comparing a pulse to oranges.

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The day after eating large quantities of superfruits, I let out açai.

(4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

Fruit growers who ignore frost warnings are a bit like fascists. They don’t believe in freeze peach.

(6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

I made a rousing speech about pickled fruits that start with ‘Q’. Far and wide I became known for my grand dill o’ quince.

(2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)