fruit puns :: PunGents.com

Lawyers in the produce industry have a turnip-client privilege. So do the advocados.

(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Plastic fruit will be banned at the upcoming G8/20 summits in Toronto. Officials have to secure the pear-imitator.

(3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)

Put a citrus fruit on top of your drink: It will taste sub lime.

(9 votes, average: 3.78 out of 5)

Don’t criticize me when I talk about breeding fruit. I’m just speaking fig iteratively.

(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

If I tell you I’m afraid of apple orchards, will you tell me to grow a pear?

(9 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)

Fruit growers who ignore frost warnings are a bit like fascists. They don’t believe in freeze peach.

(4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

Choking on fruit? Call the pear-emetics.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

A bean is not a citrus fruit. That would be comparing a pulse to oranges.

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Which fruit must be courted traditionally? Cantaloupe.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

If you’re crazy enough to do research on apple juice, I’d urge you to recon cider.

(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)