Farming advice: be a fallower, not a weeder.
You can’t win a fight with Monsanto. You just have to agri.
Why did the farmer build his waterwheel in the shade?
He figured he could make a cool mill.
The farmer was at a loss to produce more beef. In a last ditch effort he put all his cows in a cyclotron. So sad… he was really spinning his veals.
How does a farmer pick up women?
“Wanna ride on my barley? Let’s combine.”
They know how to a tractor!
Do mathematicians prefer farming by hand?
No – they’re pro tractor.
Hear about the businessman who spent his days combining chickens?
He wanted to make a hen-sum profit!
The grass farmer was criminally charged after using a sod-off shotgun to settle a lawn-standing turf war – he wanted mow money. After his arrest he was denied bale.
Q. Would your father rather tend to his marijuana grow-op, or sing children’s songs?
A. Pop hoes the weed soil.
Hear about the cannibal at the farm who wanted to eat his boss, but really had to pee?
In the end he chews the farmer over the bladder.