What’s the best time to practise your arithmetic? A: **Summer**.

# math

To use algebra to determine the worth of a chicken, simply calculate its **egginvalues**.

The fastidious mathematician’s favourite show was **Ln Order**.

Do mathematicians prefer farming by hand?

No – they’re **pro tractor**.

Bible science: A mathematician swinging a donkey was refused entry on **No Ass Arc**.

Proof that Sarah Palin’s child isn’t developmentally delayed is that he can do math. In fact, **Trig functions**.

To make math more sexy, be like Marilyn Monroe: **Sum like it’s hot**.

When a mathematician suffers a flesh wound, he should apply a **Gauzian **distribution of bandages. And remember to use **Fermat **pressure.

Why was the soprano obsessed with songs that had both length and width?

Because she wanted to sing an area.

The trigonometrist needed a **cosiner** on his lease, because the terms were **obtuse**. He didn’t want to get **cotan** a technicality. He checked for an expert with the best online **radians**.