How did ancient bar-goers settle their tabs?

A bacchus.

Do mathematicians enjoy group sets?

Mathematicians refuse to wear g-strings. They don’t have orthongonal values.

I hate math. And when I think about integers divisible by two, I feel even number.

Proof that Sarah Palin’s child isn’t developmentally delayed is that he can do math. In fact, Trig functions.

My algebra prof and I went to the lanes to throw a few balls. We are quite the parabowlers.

When a mathematician suffers a flesh wound, he should apply a Gauzian distribution of bandages. And remember to use Fermat pressure.

The odd mathematics of labour productivity: it would take 6 regular workers to do the work of 3 factorial workers.

Can a mathematician marry his cosin?

Cosecant!

Do mathematicians in Sweden use a lot of Sven diagrams?

I hate math. I’m an anti-summite.

There are four sides to every car crash. That’s what they call a wrecktangle

When the geometer fell and twisted his angle, he suffered acutely.

Hey, meet some gnu friends of ours: the lovely lasses at That’s Punny! have a great pun-photo blog for your ocular entertainment!

Geometer punks love graph-iti.

Bible science: A mathematician swinging a donkey was refused entry on No Ass Arc.

When geometers get a loan, do they need a cosiner?

My friend warned me about getting into a love triangle with acute guy. She said “What’s his angle? He seems really shallow, and something about him just isn’t right.” She told me to stop being obtuse. “When I first looked at him isosceles written all over him,” she said. Turns out she was right: I’m no longer scalene the heights of love. I need to do a complete 180.

Do mathematicians prefer farming by hand?

No - they’re pro tractor.

The fastidious mathematician’s favourite show was Ln Order.

Shortest distance between two points on the river Nile is a hippopotamus.

Do mathematicians like dessert?

Yes - the pi is endless!

There are no good German mathematicians, because in Germany, nein = zero.

Why was the soprano obsessed with songs that had both length and width?

Because she wanted to sing an area.