Chicken farmers make a poultry living.
A mad baker came at me with a ryeful, a 12-grain shotgun with pumpernickel action! He look at me with such loaving, and said “You’re a gluten for punishment.” I never shoulda crust the guy. I barley survived the encounter, and there were no wheatnesses.
I was charged $200 for dinner last night. I think I got plate.
To withhold donuts takes a cruller man than I.
Which famous playwright made fruit smoothies?
I’m having a Lord of the Rings dinner party! We’re having Hamwise-Sandwichees, with a side of Frodo salad, followed by frog Legolas and Aragorn on the cob. Dessert will be a bowl of mango Saruman and a vodka Gimli.
What do you call a beer taster in Ireland?
A Guinness Pig.
Classic Cannibal Menu:
- Smoked Salman appetizers, followed by Irish Stu, made with ground Chuck and sausage Patty; served with Trishkebobs and Eds of lettuce on the side.
- For dessert: Adam’s apple pie, and J-Lo pudding pops.
- To drink: Tina Colada or a Ron and Coke.
Anyone who grows a large yam-type vegetable is in for a rutabega-ning.
If I tell you I’m afraid of apple orchards, will you tell me to grow a pear?