Frozen french fries will give you cool-tuber-osis
food and drink
The weird new fad in restaurants is serving roadkilled bird. I went to such a place last night. Man it was crow dead.
Buy a winnebagel. You have muffin to lose. People might think you’re cookie, but donut listen.
When the cops showed up at the Chinese restaurant after receiving a burglary call, they were shocked at the wonton destruction.
I’d love to be abandoned on a dessert island.
NED: I dropped my jar of strawberry jam. It landed on the floor!
ED: Oh no.
NED: Now it’s busted. I wasn’t ex-pectin that.
McDonald’s has recently put blowfish on the menu, aka the Fellate-O-Fish.
I was caught stealing lettuce. Can you blame me? I was just trying to get a head.
I was sick at home, so drank some OJ. Might as well make myself juiceful around the house.
At the Last Supper, Judas ruined Jesus’ omelette. That day became known as Gooed Fried Egg.