My athlete wife won an Olympic gold even while I was cheating on her. I told her, “Quit medalling in my affairs!”
I fell in love with an organ donor consultant. Alas, she brokered my heart.
Never date a downhill skier. You’ll end up with slopey seconds.
Nuclear holocaust: when your family confronts you in an auditorium.
The lexicographers were involved in an acronymonious divorce.
I want a girlfriend with regular bowel movements, and I’ll search the gal laxy to find her.
My new landlady made a pass at me. I declined, because I didn’t want a Hi, mate tenants, relationship.
When I got rejected by a woman who was hooked up to life support it was so invalid dating.
You’re dumping me for a chartered financial analyst? Go ahead, CFA care.
Is it true women like men who yawn?
No actually. Sighs don’t matter.