My pet monkey is very shy. It came as no surprise, then, that my girlfriend got mad when I took macaque out on a busy street.
My girlfriend complained I never took her anywhere, so we went to the Grand Canyon so she felt valley dated.
When I got rejected by a woman who was hooked up to life support it was so invalid dating.
Some women are attracted to morons. They can’t resist a man in uninform.
How does a farmer pick up women?
“Wanna ride on my barley? Let’s combine.”
They know how to a tractor!
My new landlady made a pass at me. I declined, because I didn’t want a Hi, mate tenants, relationship.
The unemployed man was married to a woman who was never satisfied. When he finally got a job, she was irate nonetheless. “Now,” she said, “you are home less!”
I married the baker’s daughter because she had really big breads.
Whirled Cup is what happens when my wife gets mad at me.
It’s great dating a florist, because she always know when and where to plant her tulips.