Sorry for the radio silence! Google might punish our website for not putting out puns. That would be SEOWNAGE.

Hear the pun about the cow who jumped off a tall building? It’s ledge end dairy.

A punster’s preferred medium is wrought irony.

When the Gents eat cereal, they prefer Serrated Wit.

Our Asian friend Mr. Nguyen is unimpressed by our Jesus puns. I guess we’re bore Nguyen Christians.

Hear the pun about the man with mussels for brains? It met with cortical a clam.

We only do portmanteau puns on Valentine’s Day. Because love is blend.

Fat jokes usually have a big paunch line.

NED: Do you laugh at heart attack puns?

ED: Yes. Artery hard har!

Anyone who likes to quote punsters is a saidist.

Couch puns are an example of davenportmanteau.

The pun about the man with the world’s longest shin? I’ll finish it tomorrow. Tibia continued…

Homophony: puns about a superficial gay dude.

Punsters are biblically significant. They are har bringers of the apocolaughs.

It may take 144 puns, but our humour really gross on you.

We will do any kind of scatological joke, except if it’s ass poonerism.

The study of puns: agroanomy.

Our Madagascar jokes are getting lemur and lemur.

We don’t make gasoline puns, because they’re rather fuelish.

What’s most important to a comedian?

Quality of laugh.

Midget jokes are an example of smalltzy humour. However they are but one item in our wee punnery.

Couches don’t like it when you make fun of them. They don’t appreciate sat ire.

Do our puns make you vomit? Then visit a refluxologist!

Those who make cross-stitching puns are knit-wits. No more barbs or needling!

Saddam had one cousin, a punster, who escaped prosecution. His name was Comic-ali, and he sassed the Kurds.

Pun-Off Report - note from Pun Gent Pat:

Hey, they finally printed my piece about going to Texas this year (and losing)! The story is in Today’s Post Arts & Life, so please spare 75 cents and buy it, or go here to read. Fun!

See Pat’s full 2007 routine.

Why do women love punsters?

Because they have really big dictionaries.

Puns about alligator stool are a croc of shit.

The bodybuilding punster pumped irony.

NED: I don’t take a lichen to flammable loam.
ED: What the hell are you talking about.
NED: Well - it just doesn’t pass the lit moss test!
ED: Stupidest pun ever.
NED: Was it too grass for you?

Pat’s 2007 Pun Off Punniest of Show Routine :: Puns about Puns

Read Pat’s first-person reportage from the 2007 Pun Off in Austin, Texas (National Post)

---

Most puns are just pointless yawn sequiturs. For example: tree puns are not very poplar. Gambling puns are real eye-rollers. Puns about radio frequencies should be band. Video games? No pun nintendo’d! Food puns are hard to take in ingest, and liver puns taste awful — who cares if they’re full of irony! Chicken puns are fowl, obviously, and puns about dismembered cows are absolutely a tear a bull. Islam puns are so offensive, they give me koranaries. So no mo’hammeding it up. And midget puns? Simply the lowest form of humour. The joke’s on me though: as a punster who is also Roman Catholic, I’m pretty much guaranteed never to have sects!

Puns about fish are pirhanomasia.

The punster who crossed all boundaries of decency and good taste was known as a comickaze.

Photographers don’t like puns. If you tell them one they tend to shutter.

It’s important to make jokes about the New Orleans disaster. Tragic situations demand a bit of leveety.

NED: I’m hooked on bird puns!
ED: Oh no
NED: I’m a heron addict - a total loon.
ED: Oh no!
NED: I’m thinking of sticking up a bank, and holding everyone ostrich!

The number of crappy puns in the world is increasing excrementally.

Pat and Rhain sometimes get desperate. Whenever they make puns about ungulate hoof-cleaners, for example, it’s time for a gnu toe-pick.

Pat and Rhain got beat up in Pakistan on account of their jokes. It happened in the Punjab Region.

Do Pat and Rhain ever hang out in Starbucks?

Yes, it’s a sign of PunGentrification.

After Lincoln was shot, he was made fun of by punsters. He was a victim of
a sassin’ .

NED: Did you hear the pun about the sick bird?
ED: No…
NED: Well I can’t tell you.
ED: Why not?
NED: Because - it’s ill eagle.

In France do they like rabbit puns?

Yes, they’re lapin it up!

Chicken puns are absolutely fowl.

A pointless pun is a yawn sequitur.

The Gents fear death from puncreatic cancer.

What do you say after making a video-game joke?

“No pun Nintendo’d!”

Do punsters enjoy slicing up rump roast?

You butcher ass!

Too many radiation puns on this site?

Yes - we’ve reached an all-time glow.

Puns about exploding cows? Absolutely tear a bull.