Don’t mock Jesus. He is derision Lord.
Archaeologists say they’ve discovered the toilet used by Jesus. Which is a loo de Christ claim.
Jesus teaching his Father how to use a computer mouse: “Jehovah the cursor over the icon!”
If Jesus were a cross-dresser, would that have made him the Pantie-Christ?
Nobody ever talks about the Fourth Wise Man, who arrived late and gave Jesus the same gift as the last guy, to myrrh-myrrhs of disapproval.
Jesus’ favourite rock song? “Raze a Little Hell”.
Easter is all about sandwiches. Because heroes on the third day. The disciples thought it was about potato chips. Because they took the body and had it all dressed.
After three days in a tomb, you might get dehydrated. Hence the proclamation, ‘Behold the Lord, for He is a raisin!’
In the hipster Bible, Jesus says ‘Douche unto others’. This is actually in the Old Testament book of Doucheronomy.