Jesus often sucked on balloons. It was because they contained healium.
Jesus
In the hipster Bible, Jesus says ‘Douche unto others’. This is actually in the Old Testament book of Doucheronomy.
Blessed are the Cheesemakers. They are true do-goudas.
Jesus didn’t bring his friend back from the dead. The fellow was merely sleeping. And so it was “Lazy-rus, come forth!”
Hear about the dog that tried to bite baby Jesus?
It had a bad case of the manger!
At the Second Gumming of Christ, Jesus will finally be crowned King of the Chews.
Said Jesus to the crowd of plastic surgeons: “Jug not, lest ye be jugged!”
Did Judas avoid the stock markets?
No – in fact he was a day traitor.
Where did Judas betray Jesus?
In the Garden of Get-Some-Money.
When Thomas put his finger in Jesus’ cavities, he was a witness to the tooth.