To all Evangelicals, Pentecostals, 7th Day Adventists and Baptists who truly believe – the Big Day is coming tomorrow, so make sure you’ve rapture presents!
Jesus
When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary Magdalene, in disbelief, she exclaimed “No way!”
Jesus replied, “Yahweh!”
When Cheesus started his muenstery, he wanted to save people from edam-nation. The numbers in hell gruyere by year. And the devil was evil like the mythical gorgon zola, but cheddar days were ahead.
Did Jesus ever get a haircut?
Yes, He said “Render unto scissor what belongs to scissors!” So it is proven that Jesus shaves.
Michael Jackson thought he was Jesus. One day he even gave the Sermon on the Mount. And it was known as the Beat-it-udes.
How do generals make decisions during a Holy War?
They ask, “What would StrateJesus do?”
Avoid Bethlehem if you can. It’s mangerous at night.
Jesus’ favourite rock song? “Raze a Little Hell”.
Said Jesus to the crowd of plastic surgeons: “Jug not, lest ye be jugged!”
Blessed are the Cheesemakers. They are true do-goudas.