NED: I believe Homeland Security depends on two things:
ED: What’s that?
NED: First, honouring our sheep, and second, constipating our pigeons.
ED: Really?
NED: Yes! Everyone knows that ewe-knighted we stand, while dove-voided we fall.

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If you are at the wrong end of a chainsaw accident, try to understand. To err is hew man.

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When the pope ordered Catholics to follow his example and gird their loins, he was accused of robing ‘peter’ to pape all.

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