NED: I believe Homeland Security depends on two things:
ED: What’s that?
NED: First, honouring our sheep, and second, constipating our pigeons.
ED: Really?
NED: Yes! Everyone knows that ewe-knighted we stand, while dove-voided we fall.
proverbs
Eunuchs tend to be chivalrous. As the French say, ‘nob-less oblige’.
There’s an old proverb that recommends against circumcision: Spear the rod, spoil the child.
NED: St Patrick’s day is 10 months away. Should I work on my Irish accent?
ED: No, if it ain’t brogue, don’t fix it.
If you are at the wrong end of a chainsaw accident, try to understand. To err is hew man.
When the pope ordered Catholics to follow his example and gird their loins, he was accused of robing ‘peter’ to pape all.
Onan is an island.
Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?
Because he who acetates is loused.
Gay porn is now recyclable. Waste not wanton nuts.
Said Jesus to the crowd of plastic surgeons: “Jug not, lest ye be jugged!”