The pope pronounced his thoughts on the yo-yo dieting epidemic during the Fat-Again Council.
People scream out Francis’ name: he’s a Pope ulular guy.
NED: I saw Benedict kneeling over.
ED: Is he OK?
NED: Yeah he’s just praying. Don’t worry, everything’s pope-ascetic.
The bishop was an excellent navigator. He was expert at working his way through all the little buoys.
The use of smoke in the papal selection proves the Church has a sense of fumer.
Never negotiate with a hungry pontiff. It’s better to have a Pope-is-full discussion.
When the pope ordered Catholics to follow his example and gird their loins, he was accused of robing ‘peter’ to pape all.
The Vatican TV channel is no longer free. They’re switching to pope-per-view.
What does a Pope say to an Anti-Pope? “See you in halo.”
The pope has inflamed a lot of turbaned followers of Guru Nanak with his latest encyclical. In fact it’s so dangerous they’re referring to it as a Sikh-heating missal.