In the postmodern Catholic Church, every assumption will be deaconstructed.
What does a Pope say to an Anti-Pope? “See you in halo.”
Never negotiate with a hungry pontiff. It’s better to have a Pope-is-full discussion.
If you want to hand out communion, you have to assign a wafer.
When the Vatican announced that cows could be ordained priests, the bovines could scarcely contain their heifervestments
The strip club dancer once attended mass, but now she’s a laps Catholic.