After watching hyperactive kids all day, I crave a dulled conversation.
My old gardener was so mean to me, so I told him to go back to school. Now he’s a kinder gartener.
Cannibals always tell their kids, “Don’t forget to eat your vital men.”
My dyslexic child wants to read War and Peace, after hearing about the famous Russian novelist Leo Toystore.
My toddler loves technology. When he eats, he uses instant messing.
The police raided an unlicensed daycare. It was an illegal grow-up.
Do illegitimate children have alabastard skin?
A well-dressed infant has a diaper appearance.
Having a baby? Let the goo times roll.