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Puns tagged ‘crime’:

04/16/14

Don’t touch my elbow! Do it and I’ll have you charged with arm rubbery.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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04/09/14

The most dangerous vegetable in the hood? Bro killy.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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04/03/14

Setting fire to a cemetery is an act of tomb fuellery.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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01/01/14

You can get in trouble in the hood today, if you flash the Old Gang Sign.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
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05/17/13

The mattress thief was cot in the act… bed-handed.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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02/06/13

If you shoot someone in the eye you might not kill them, but you might give them Glock coma.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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01/10/13

My grandfather once shoplifted a popular video game. Years later, they tracked me down and said “You shall pay for The Sims of your forefathers.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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01/08/13

There is no truth to the rumour that Vanna White was found dead, disemvoweled.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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01/03/13

The metaphor shop was robbed. It was alluding. Nothing simile has happened since. The cops are on the lookout fore shadows.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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11/16/12

The Sicilian baseball star established a huge mafia¬†umpire. Of course, he won’t say a word about his past hits: He follows the code of homerta, and¬†brushes off all allegations as baseless. But he has been seen patrolling the alleys, and out of left field, he takes a swing at the pitcher. ‘Don’t try to put one past a man with three balls,’ he gloats. Despite facing the heat for two controversial strikes–and repeatedly ending up in foul territory–he ends up walking. Of course, the other guys balk. The next inning he decides to stick a cap on a fan. This time the hard liners get to him. So he winds up in the pen. Before, he would feast on sliders, but now he kills time sacrificing flies and collecting booze tins on his mickey mantle. Some say he dabbles in CyYoungtology. During this short stop, he pulls off a deadly sidearm delivery. He rallies, ends up running all the bases, and despite being violently tagged, he makes it home, safe. The truth of the matter? You could ask the catcher, but he says the catcher knows squat.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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