Puns tagged ‘crime’:
05/17/13
The mattress thief was cot in the act… bed-handed.
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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  (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5) Loading ...02/06/13
If you shoot someone in the eye you might not kill them, but you might give them Glock coma.  (5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5) Loading ...01/10/13
My grandfather once shoplifted a popular video game. Years later, they tracked me down and said “You shall pay for The Sims of your forefathers.“ (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5) Loading ...01/08/13
There is no truth to the rumour that Vanna White was found dead, disemvoweled. (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5) Loading ...01/03/13
The metaphor shop was robbed. It was alluding. Nothing simile has happened since. The cops are on the lookout fore shadows. (4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5) Loading ...11/16/12
The Sicilian baseball star established a huge mafia umpire. Of course, he won’t say a word about his past hits: He follows the code of homerta, and brushes off all allegations as baseless. But he has been seen patrolling the alleys, and out of left field, he takes a swing at the pitcher. ‘Don’t try to put one past a man with three balls,’ he gloats. Despite facing the heat for two controversial strikes–and repeatedly ending up in foul territory–he ends up walking. Of course, the other guys balk. The next inning he decides to stick a cap on a fan. This time the hard liners get to him. So he winds up in the pen. Before, he would feast on sliders, but now he kills time sacrificing flies and collecting booze tins on his mickey mantle. Some say he dabbles in CyYoungtology. During this short stop, he pulls off a deadly sidearm delivery. He rallies, ends up running all the bases, and despite being violently tagged, he makes it home, safe. The truth of the matter? You could ask the catcher, but he says the catcher knows squat. (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading ...10/14/12
It is treasonous to tamper with unlabeled stool samples. You will be branded a tray turd. (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...10/02/12
I’m bed to the bone – I committed mattresscide. (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...09/22/12
Colonel Kurtz took a lot of measures to discipline his soldiers. In fact he spear-headed every one. (8 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5) Loading ...06/13/12
The BBQ joint was held up. What a braisin’ act. (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading ... |
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