My grandfather once shoplifted a popular video game. Years later, they tracked me down and said “You shall pay for The Sims of your forefathers.“
NED: I was arrested for committing lewd acts atop a dolphin!
ED: Really?! Are you guilty?
NED: No way! Even though they caught me, there was a misunderstanding.
ED: Are you saying you didn’t do it on porpoise?
It takes a certain type to commit infonticide.
My sister is marrying an organ thief. She says she wants a man after her own heart, someone who can de-liver her from her troubles, and who’ll take care of her two little kidneys after she’s gone.
As for me, I married a woman who had her face surgically removed. For love no nose limits.
All political speechwriters should be sentenced to death by electoral-elocution.
There was a man arrested for throwing hot coffee in people’s faces. The police report noted ‘the suspect made use of brewed force‘.
People who sing off-key in the shower should be nerve-gassed. Only that will help the sarin-aid.
A lynch mob formed after the cat killed a mouse. They decided to round up a pussy.
Colonel Kurtz took a lot of measures to discipline his soldiers. In fact he spear-headed every one.
It is treasonous to tamper with unlabeled stool samples. You will be branded a tray turd.