When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. “But, but,” the unsuspecting tourist protested, “all I said was ‘gee, it’s hot!‘”

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Another update from South America’s War on Drugs:

After years of kidnappings, brutal assassinations and jungle warfare, suddenly an olive branch! Guerrillas from the Medellin drug cartel have actually been invited to recite Cocaine Poetry at a Colombian state banquet. Many law-abiding citizens, however, are upset at this diplomatic contra-verse-y.

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