Got a problem with superstition? Declare a War on Tarot.
Problem with bitterly ironic travel writing? Declare a War on Theroux.
Afraid of rabbit dens? Warren Terror.
Cows? War on Hereford.
Dogs? War on Terrier.
Ripped clothing? War on Tearer.
Your aging transvestite relatives? Worn Aunt Harold (East Coast pronunciation).
Canada’s dominant province? War On Tario.
Lactose? War on Dairiers.
Pilates? War on Therabands.
Terrible lizards? War on Tyrannosaurs ( War on Pterodactyls?).
Never-ending terror alerts? Wore on Terror.
Resent the soldiers getting their limbs blown off in Iraq? I guess you’re a War-Amp Harrier (bit of a stretch?).
Finally: after everyone knew Osama was bad guy no. 1, why did Bush spend a year trying to capture and arrest the Wrong Guy, ie Saddam Hussein?
Because – it was the Warrant Error!
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