The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
When you join the military, they light your bum on fire as part of the ass-immolation process.
What’s George Bush’s response to thousands of bodies wounded and mutilated in Iraq and Afghanistan?
“Keep surgeon the troops!”
Things in Libya are getting Mo ammar crazy. Every time their leader speaks he Tripolis over his words. It’s a Gadafestrophe.
When I stepped on a landmine, I felt defeeted. But there were violent protests in support of me – so I did enjoy some no toe rioty.
To kill all the cows, you need moo clear weapons.
They make tiny submersibles these days that are smaller than a mouse. They’re known as submurines.
How does the Syrian president live with himself? He must look in the mirror and say ‘I’m Assad fellow. But everything’s gonna be Alawite.’
The final Battle of the Birds will obliterate the skies. It will be known as Ptarmigeddon.
Lots more Puns on Demand requests filled today!