When the rain fell on our heads it was like glorious piss. So I quoted Shakespeare, saying “The sky is a most excellent can o’ pee.”
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Why did Laertes place tariffs on foreign bookcases?
Because Polonius advised him, “This above all else: to thine home shelf be true!“
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...When I saw a wicker furniture outlet in Copenhagen, I knew there was something ratan in the state of Denmark.
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Do leafy vegetables give you gas?
Yes, to misquote the Latin proverb, arsest celery fart ’em.
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when Dorothy spilled beer on her?
“I’m malting!…. I’m malting!“
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Why did Socrates always keep his dough yeast-free until inspection?
Because the unexamined loaf is not worth leaven.
(5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...NED: I believe Homeland Security depends on two things:
ED: What’s that?
NED: First, honouring our sheep, and second, constipating our pigeons.
ED: Really?
NED: Yes! Everyone knows that ewe-knighted we stand, while dove-voided we fall.
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...We all know about his famous bath, but what did Archimedes say his first time before a urinal?
“Urethra! I’ve found it!”
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...The museum is unveiling a mural of the great Stooge’s most famous quotations. Make sure to visit this fantastic Moe-say-ic.
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