BEVERLEY BONECRUSHER

Dear Pun Gents,

I really need a Roller Derby name ASAP. I’m new to derby. Anything to do with my name is cool or just something clever. I’m super into Star Wars/Trek/LOTR and reading. I’m a barista on the side and play ultimate frisbee too. ~Kim Waybright, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Millenium Falc Kim
  2. LOTR REY
  3. Falcon Dangerous
  4. Rey Anna
  5. AKimbo
  6. The Way Kim Dead
  7. Reyzor
  8. Darth Waybright
  9. The Cutest of Borg
  10. Menage a Troi
  11. Kim Il Skate
  12. Sauron Grapes
  13. Beverley BoneCrusher
  14. Wins A Latte
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Star Trek TNG gossip: Picard filmed a provocative tape with Kim the Cardassian, and he didnt even riker. He wasnt even a tractor to her. She had photon mouth disease. But she had a crusher on him, and held on to the data anyway. When it was released he called her a dirty Worf. She called him a little Wesley. They apparently used Vulcanized rubbers. But afterwards they weren’t beaming.

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Star Trek Puns

Why were they able to summon Spock from beyond the grave? Because he was the seance officer!

They were playing basketball on the first episode of Star Trek, and Kirk was having a brilliant game. He was driving toward the net, a single basket shy of a tribble-double, but as the final buzzer went the ref called him for double-tribbling!

What device did they use to lock up tricycles on the Enterprise? A trike-hoarder!

Which communications officer slept around? Uhura!

When the Vulcan made an emergency landing on Wall Street, did they call it a Spock market crash?

Worf once moonlighted as a hiphop artist named ‘Saran’ – he loved the Kling rap!

The sickbay medics encountered a strange disease, which they named Quadri-Polar Disorder. It could be treated only with di-lithium.

Account of a quarrel: “My weapon was set to stun, but I missed her over the shoulder. She looked at me, unphased.”

After eating too much Vietnamese food Kirk rushed to the bathroom to unleash a pho-ton torpedo.

The prisoner escaped from the brig and angrily stormed onto the bridge. Needless to say Captain Kirk was unprepared for the wrath of con.

Why did they land on the Holy Wall of Jerusalem in Star Trek IV? They heard the wails.

Why did Bones become drunk when Kirk transported him to the bridge? Because he said “Jim beam me up!”

Which officer wanted to join the Catholic priesthood? End-sin Crusher. Did they accept him? No, because he was already a Wesleyan.

What was Quark’s favourite retro band? Ferengi Goes To Hollywood.

How could they tell Picard’s deity-like nemesis was a stoner? Because they made him take a High-Q test.

When making love, Spock would only trust the durability of vulcanized rubbers.

Did Troi need to smoke up in order to use her mental power? Yes, she was a hempath.

What creature staked out a bathroom, lustily awaiting a gazelle? The loo-tenant, come-on deer!

Sewage on the Enterprise was disposed of via a network of turdbowl-lifts.

Guinan had a premonition she would end up at Ten-Forewarned.

Jewish bakeries could be found on the Challahdeck.

When Picard hooked up with the Icelandic pop singer, he too was one with the Bjork.

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