BEVERLEY BONECRUSHER

Dear Pun Gents,

I really need a Roller Derby name ASAP. I’m new to derby. Anything to do with my name is cool or just something clever. I’m super into Star Wars/Trek/LOTR and reading. I’m a barista on the side and play ultimate frisbee too. ~Kim Waybright, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Millenium Falc Kim
  2. LOTR REY
  3. Falcon Dangerous
  4. Rey Anna
  5. AKimbo
  6. The Way Kim Dead
  7. Reyzor
  8. Darth Waybright
  9. The Cutest of Borg
  10. Menage a Troi
  11. Kim Il Skate
  12. Sauron Grapes
  13. Beverley BoneCrusher
  14. Wins A Latte
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Lord of the Rings Puns

Why was it hard to get to Sauron’s lair? Because no matter how many you opened there was always Mor dor.

Gollum’s favourite bird? A Smea-gull.

Who was expert at pork products, yet curious about sheep? Hamwise Lamb-gee!

An orchard full of tall trees? An ent farm.

Which horse made a lousy admin assistant? Shadow-fax.

Archie, Jughead and the gang all went to Rivendell High.

A gang of orcs went to an ancient Mesopotamian city to score some weed. When they came back they were Uruk-high.

If Aragorn was a Strider, did Arwen prefer to be astride him?

Who preferred a child’s toy? Legolust!

Who stole a couple smiles? Peregrin Took.

Who made use of second-hand Russian spacecraft? BorrowMir.

Why was Aragorn accepted as King of the White Rock? Because he knew how to speak Elvis.

Which flying beasts were truants? The Nah-school.

Which character did Tony Danza want to play? Eh-oh Mer.

Who was always looking for a subletter? Share-room-man.

Gandalf always got pissed drunk. They called him the White Whizzer.

Was the Dark Lord’s web site sauron.orc?

Who was lucky to make it onscreen? Gladriel.

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