Lord of the Rings Puns

Why was it hard to get to Sauron’s lair? Because no matter how many you opened there was always Mor dor.

Gollum’s favourite bird? A Smea-gull.

Who was expert at pork products, yet curious about sheep? Hamwise Lamb-gee!

An orchard full of tall trees? An ent farm.

Which horse made a lousy admin assistant? Shadow-fax.

Archie, Jughead and the gang all went to Rivendell High.

A gang of orcs went to an ancient Mesopotamian city to score some weed. When they came back they were Uruk-high.

If Aragorn was a Strider, did Arwen prefer to be astride him?

Who preferred a child’s toy? Legolust!

Who stole a couple smiles? Peregrin Took.

Who made use of second-hand Russian spacecraft? BorrowMir.

Why was Aragorn accepted as King of the White Rock? Because he knew how to speak Elvis.

Which flying beasts were truants? The Nah-school.

Which character did Tony Danza want to play? Eh-oh Mer.

Who was always looking for a subletter? Share-room-man.

Gandalf always got pissed drunk. They called him the White Whizzer.

Was the Dark Lord’s web site sauron.orc?

Who was lucky to make it onscreen? Gladriel.

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