What should you feed your demented, senile grandmother?
Gram crackers.
old people
If you lose something in an old-age home, don’t stop until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
Many elderly grandmothers are cloak/cane addicts.
How much mass does it take to smother an elderly woman?
Just one kilogram. But the guilt weighs heavily.
The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude.
NED: I’ve got a shameful scientific confession.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Well, I’ve been dabbling in…
ED: What is it?
NED: Well, it’s reverse-life-cycle cloning…
ED: What??
NED: Yes. Reverse-life-cycle cloning. I can’t bear the guilt any more…
ED: For god’s sake, man – get an old of yourself!
Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.
The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry.
The pope just turned 90. So the Vatican had a big celibation.
Adult diapers for the swimming pool: Deep ends.