The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century.
The boxer who turned priest found much glee in visiting his former ring opponents who were now old and sick, and administering a few last rights.
The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry.
I went to a geriatrics conference in the Everglades. I was attacked by goiters.
If you lose something in an old-age home, don’t stop until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
NED: I’ve got a shameful scientific confession.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Well, I’ve been dabbling in…
ED: What is it?
NED: Well, it’s reverse-life-cycle cloning…
NED: Yes. Reverse-life-cycle cloning. I can’t bear the guilt any more…
ED: For god’s sake, man – get an old of yourself!
The old man who slept with three virgins celebrated his cherry-hat-trick.
How much mass does it take to smother an elderly woman?
Just one kilogram. But the guilt weighs heavily.
The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude.
Adult diapers for the swimming pool: Deep ends.