the environment

People who don’t use deodorant are threatening the b-o-sphere. Which is dangerous, because that’s all that separates us from odour space. I mean, they’ve already destroyed the nose-zone layer!

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At the United Nations Conference on Poultry in Pecking, China, several accords were discussed, including a complicated capon-trade system. But as the cluck was winding down on the agreement, many nations cried fowl, arguing that capon-trade would only lead to more hen-some profits for agribusinesses, and real progress would be nothing but chicken feed. In order to lay down their yolks, developing nations staged a coop! Their leader made a speech, saying “When all people, white and dark, meat, there is hope.” This democratic gesture inspired everyone, even nations whose broil kings were in attendance. But the cynical members of the global press downplayed the developments,  just drank a lot of Wild Turkey and got totally basted. #classicpun-011026

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GET MUGGED

Dear Pun Gents, our high-school environmental club is selling coffee mugs and travel mugs to raise money. We need an environment-related and drink-related pun to put on the mugs! ~Vivian, Vancouver, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Save the rainforests. Drink Java.
  2. I’m in-disposed
  3. Ever bean enviro-friendly?
  4. No more paper view.
  5. Wasting paper cups is high tree sin.
  6. Save the planet. Get mugged.
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