My girlfriend complained I never took her anywhere, so we went to the Grand Canyon so she felt valley dated.
My new landlady made a pass at me. I declined, because I didn’t want a Hi, mate tenants, relationship.
My ex-girlfriend got Ebola. What a dirty fluidsy.
I broke up with my girlfriend when she started impersonating a Brita filter. She was way too pose as sieve for me.
Yes, I will stab a sweet potato with a plastic pen to impress a lover of Shakespeare. I yam Bic-pen to meet ‘er.
My girlfriend Wanda moved to Buffalo and gained 800 pounds. I guess I’ve had a Tonawanda.
Some women are attracted to morons. They can’t resist a man in uninform.
To preserve our marriage, my wife and I have a no pun relationship.
Dear Pun Gents, I need a title for a weekly column which would be like a ‘sports cheat sheet’ feature for female readers who have husbands, boyfriends and significant others who are sports fanatics–all with the aim to help women join in the conversation in a fun, quirky way. It would be written from an entertainment/gossip angle so that it appeals to women. It would also help explain sports terms in funny, clever ways. Can you please help? Thank you! ~Kelli, New York City
- The Fandominatrix
- Girls With Balls
- S&M: Sports and Men
- MSM: Men, Sports, Meaning
- The MenZone
- The Jersey Girl [ ie sports jerseys]
- Understand Your Fan
- [PS – thanks for the donation!]
I miss sugar. After all these years we glucose.