Anyone who measures their caffeine intake is a tea-totaller.
Drinking Japanese beer makes me Sapporific.
A bar stockroom must have load beering walls.
I woke up beside an elephant. Man did I feel trunk last night.
Which animals like to get drunk? Caribous. They love elkohol, they gazelle it down; especially Moosehead. There’s nothing quite like an ice cold deer.
Whenever I go to a saliva bar, I order a chin- and tongue-lick.
I have a famous beer belly. Someone even wrote a novel about it: The Pilsners of the Girth.
I quit drinking and took up showering: I’m clean and soapier.
My boss is a pig. Whenever he drinks swine he gets squealy drunk and hogs the spotlight. What a boar. I wish he’d improve his deporkment.
A statistically significant alcohol test is when you pee greater than .05.