I used to put wine in my corn flakes. Then they arrested me on account of I was a cereal grapist.
Tuscany is a slum! Everyone lives in chianti-towns. And I don’t mean to grape, but in some French regions, all the houses are bordeauxed up. What a bunch of vine-os – the lowest of the Merlot!
My friend from Manila is a drunken wino. He’s always Filipino noir.
Dark-coloured urine? Drink Pinot noir.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
The people of Sommelier are wine-ing about the War on Terroir. They’ve reached a new Merlot. Personally, I no grigio with them: it’s just sour grapes, with no rhyme or Riesling. What’s the Gewürtz that can happen?
Who knows about African wines? A Somali, eh.
The Wedding at Cana proved that Jesus was a wine/eau.
ISIS wine critics are always shouting “Curse the Zinfandels!”
I complain a lot about wineries.