I met a hobo on the street who was quite contemplative. It must have been the mulled wino.
True story: I invented a singing beer, went on Shark Tank to get funding, but instead was met with a chorus of booze.
ISIS wine critics are always shouting “Curse the Zinfandels!”
Don’t drink anything while vacationing in the Caribbean. Especially in Jamaica. You’ll get the rums.
Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?
Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!
Which alcoholic beverage is most popular among Mennonites?
Budweiser: King of Beards.
Have you ever seen drunk rabbits on stage? It’s a very hop-erratic performance.
A drunken satirist is a real parody animal.
I have a Muslim friend who loves to drink alcohol. His name? Mo’ hammered.
Cabernet: what you drink when you can’t decide between taking a taxi or a horse.