The gangland baseball star established a huge mafia umpire. Of course, he won’t say a word about his past hits: He follows the code of homerta, and brushes off all allegations as baseless. But he has been seen patrolling the alleys, and out of left field, he takes a swing at the pitcher. ‘Don’t try to put one past a man with three balls,’ he gloats. Despite facing the heat for two controversial strikes–and repeatedly ending up in foul territory–he ends up walking. Of course, the other guys balk. The next inning he decides to stick a cap on a fan. This time the hard liners get to him. So he winds up in the pen. Before, he would feast on sliders, but now he kills time sacrificing flies and collecting booze tins on his mickey mantle. Some say he dabbles in CyYoungtology. During this short stop, he pulls off a deadly sidearm delivery. He rallies, ends up running all the bases, and despite being violently tagged, he makes it home, safe. The truth of the matter? You could ask the catcher, but the catcher knows squat.
Some baseball players have a bat attitude.
First rule in cannibal baseball: Never wok the leadoff man.
Movie about the first female umpire: Official Called Wanda.
Forget Bran Stark. After getting punched in the face Jose Bautista can’t stop shouting “Odor! Odor!“
To win at intramural prison softball your team needs to jail at the right time.
I don’t care if a major leaguer has unsightly skin blemishes. As long as he can throw a baseball, a pitcher’s worth a thousand warts.
Next season, Walter White becomes a baseball slugger, in Breaking Bat.
Baseball is a team effort. Especially the bullpen. Everyone has to pitch inning.
Baseball players, aka lumber jocks.