Why did the Italian dictator attack his son’s babysitter and take her wallet?
Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously – needs to be read aloud)
Why did the Italian dictator attack his son’s babysitter and take her wallet?
Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously – needs to be read aloud)
What book did Mr. Darwin pen after a wayward finch pooped on his head?
The Origin of the Feces!
Which famous Russian would not have approved of Vladimir? Rasputin.
Social network for dead presidents: Lincoln.
In the Bible, who was stowed away in the belly of a ship?
Jonah of Ark.
Sir Isaac Newton, upon watching a large crowd of peasants pointlessly measure the duration of a speech about wheel rods, announced with ridicule – “mass-timed axel oration equals farce!”
What did Philip II of Macedon say when his son refused to give up the cheese-slicer to the maid?
“Alex, hand her the grate!”
When the saviour of Nottingham Forest got an honourary degree from Oxford, he had to wear a robe and hood.
When Napoleon came to New England, it was quite the spectacle; the people were so excited that they would pay admission even to watch him break wind! In Bangor in particular, the French Emperor’s farting was considered the Maine vent.
When Sir Edmund Hillary got a chance to pitch in a baseball match, he fell asleep at the rubber. He must have thought it was Mound Have-a-Rest!