When the saviour of Nottingham Forest got an honourary degree from Oxford, he had to wear a robe and hood.
historical figures
Social network for dead presidents: Lincoln.
Why did the Italian dictator attack his son’s babysitter and take her wallet?
Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously – needs to be read aloud)
What did Philip II of Macedon say when his son refused to give up the cheese-slicer to the maid?
“Alex, hand her the grate!”
What book did Mr. Darwin pen after a wayward finch pooped on his head?
The Origin of the Feces!
Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?
Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!
What did Archimedes’ wife say to him before he took his bath?
“You reeka!“
Which famous Russian would not have approved of Vladimir? Rasputin.
When Sir Edmund Hillary got a chance to pitch in a baseball match, he fell asleep at the rubber. He must have thought it was Mound Have-a-Rest!
When Napoleon came to New England, it was quite the spectacle; the people were so excited that they would pay admission even to watch him break wind! In Bangor in particular, the French Emperor’s farting was considered the Maine vent.


