When the saviour of Nottingham Forest got an honourary degree from Oxford, he had to wear a robe and hood.
When Napoleon came to New England, it was quite the spectacle; the people were so excited that they would pay admission even to watch him break wind! In Bangor in particular, the French Emperor’s farting was considered the Maine vent.
When Sir Edmund Hillary got a chance to pitch in a baseball match, he fell asleep at the rubber. He must have thought it was Mound Have-a-Rest!
Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?
Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!
Which famous playwright made fruit smoothies?
What did Archimedes’ wife say to him before he took his bath?
Which famous Russian would not have approved of Vladimir? Rasputin.
Social network for dead presidents: Lincoln.
In the Bible, who was stowed away in the belly of a ship?
Jonah of Ark.
Kepler and Galileo were deadlocked in the finals of the Great Astronomy Puns Contest. So judge Spooner was called in to Brahe-cho the Ty.