When asked for advice on mountain climbing by his Roman colleagues, Caesar replied, “K2, Brute.“
Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?
Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!
Why did the Italian dictator attack his son’s babysitter and take her wallet?
Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously – needs to be read aloud)
What did Archimedes’ wife say to him before he took his bath?
Sir Isaac Newton, upon watching a large crowd of peasants pointlessly measure the duration of a speech about wheel rods, announced with ridicule – “mass-timed axel oration equals farce!”
What did Philip II of Macedon say when his son refused to give up the cheese-slicer to the maid?
“Alex, hand her the grate!”