How do Jewish tourists relax in Moscow? With a Russia sauna.
Which famous Russian would not have approved of Vladimir? Rasputin.
We won’t make any Olympics puns this year—that would be Sochisey.
My Russian mechanic souped up my car. Now it drives like a Borscht!
Boris Yeltsin drank so much he became glassnosed.
Little known Russian history fact: it was after only walking into a window that Gorbachev embraced glassnosed. Years of pane followed, but he pursued it untempered. He sharded a new course.
In Russia and Ukraine, it’s easy to find wifey hotspots.
Why is the US whistleblower stuck in Moscow? Because, he’s Snowden.
In Soviet Russia, they didn’t have Black Friday, but they had Siberia Monday.
Russian dictators are the best. They’re the crème de la Kremlin.