My grandma always gives me the benefit of the dote.
In Dubai, is it true the Shake Mo’Hammock orders his wife to rock him to sleep?
Sick of hanging out with his aunt’s kids at family reunions, Newton went off and formulated the law of cousin affect.
When I have to kiss my relatives at family functions, it’s like the coming of the pack o’ lips.
My daughter asked to go tobogganing. I said “Not with that sleddy outfit!”
My grandfather once shoplifted a popular video game. Years later, they tracked me down and said “You shall pay for The Sims of your forefathers.“
My daughter says she wants her eyes, lips, nose and smile to be surgically reconstructed at the cost of thousands of dollars, but I think she’s just going through a face.
I always get sick when my cousin Enza comes to visit. Last week, in flew Enza, and wouldn’t you know.
My mother destroyed my insect colony. Such ma-level-ant behaviour!
I come from a family of warmongers. I am belli bellicose to them.