What’s the emoji for constipation? A: Colon, full-stop.
As a graphic designer on social media, I’m eager to share my GIFs with the world.
This Valentine’s Day I’m going to swipe right on my Friendster profile. Oops, did I just date myself?
I hate Twitter. It’s so meme-spirited.
Best of #Snowmageddon Puns*:
- Apocalypse Snow
- Snowsama bin Laden
- Snowtorious BIG
- Blizzy Smalls
- Queen EBlizzardbeth
- Snow J
- Warning: This Weather Features Graphic Snowdity and Adult SituaFlaketions
- Help Me, Snowbi Wan!
- Snow Country for Old Men
- Great Squall of China
*given recent snow-based hysteria, most of these are NOT Pun Gents Originals
Madonna song about Facebook fatigue: Like Aversion.
None of my tweets go viral. It’s like that ’80s movie, The Never-Trending Story.
They say the Q-tip was the perfect invention, but now that Swab 2.0 is here, it’s even more swab and sophisticated. Small wonder it’s cotton. It’s the product of the ear for 2008.
I must write a new blog entry, post haste!
- Send those old clothes to the gulag. Dressing well shouldn’t take a 5-Year Plan.
- Black Plague Friday Sale! Ladies, your BUBOS will never look better.
- If our new line of Boleyn shoes doesn’t go viral — our heads are gonna roll.
- Enron, not walk to check our new executive menswear.
- Our Cambodian outlets are piled with high skull collections.
- Into the Spanish look? Make an Inquisition at the desk – we will forcefully convert you!
- We got Tutsis in Suitsies – everybody’s gonna Rwanda one!