KATATONIA

Dear Pun Gents, I am giving a talk at a university scholarship luncheon. There will be two speakers before me, one named Katia, and the other named Katherine. I am trying to come up with some sort of funny comment at the beginning of my presentation that includes a pun about the abundance of Kathrine/Katia/Katherine, or possibly the fact that there will be 3 speakers at this event whose names start with “Kat” (something like “It’s a veritable Kat-valanche” but better). I’ve fallen flat. Could you help me out? ~Kathrine, Salt Lake City, UT
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. This many K’s in a row usually gets you arrested. Except in South Carolina!
  2. It’s a Katastrophe!
  3. If you had let us all speak at once we might have got Katty.
  4. I hope by the time I’m finished you won’t be Katatonic.
  5. If your name doesn’t start with K you’re just not Kat out for this luncheon.
  6. I saw a Kat burglar outside- he was K-sing the joint!
  7. I wasn’t expecting so much Kat-calling today.
  8. This lunch just shows that Kats like to have funds!
  9. Are they serving Kat food at this luncheon? Because I’m feline hungry.
  10. After those last two speakers, I’m speechless. Kat got your tongue?
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RAZOR LITTLE HELL

Dear PunGents, I need a roller derby name!! I want something feminine but intimidating. My friend is Maimin’ Dame — I’d love something along those lines, I’m a hairdresser by trade. My last name is Funk. I drive a Jeep but whatever you can come up with! ~Rebecca, Albany

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Scissor Sister
  2. Edward Scissorlegs
  3. Cutie Cuts
  4. Cuttles
  5. What The Funk
  6. Slice-za Minelli
  7. Razor Lille Hell
  8. Jeep Thrills
  9. Jeep Trick / Jeep Trixie
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JAYNE’S ADDICTIONS

Dear Pun Gents, I’m after a badass punny derby name please! I’m a beer brewer, whose nickname is Brewer Jayne, who is into rap and thinks they’re a little bit gangsta.I love gin and beer and have a thing for the colour pink. As a skater, I’m tall, athletic and a little clumsy.I hope that’s enough info to come up with something ace. Thanks in advance for your help! ~Jayne, Melbourne, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Jayne in the Neck
  2. JayneKiller [Painkiller]
  3. Jayne and Juice
  4. Brewed Tall Force
  5. Miss Pinky
  6. Barley Lethal [Barely Legal]
  7. Gina and Tonic
  8. Jayne No Wine [Genuine]
  9. Smiling Brewdha [Smiling Buddha]
  10. Rap PunZel
  11. Gangstalina Jolie
  12. Gina Rollah Briggida / Gina Rollah Beer Fridgedda
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Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a team of business faculty working in a group to promote and manage a business degree program. ~Greg, Salina

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The Bizzy B’s
  2. The Prof-its
  3. The Capital P’s
  4. What will B. Com. of us
  5. The Busi-antine Empire
  6. The BCommoners
  7. The Tenure Plan
  8. BComming Tenured
  9. Capital in Hand
  10. Just the Facs Please
  11. The Faculties of Life
  12. The Prof Motive
  13. Setting Sales
  14. BBAM
  15. Be School
  16. PowerPointer Sisters
  17. We Admin Business [We mean business]
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WHO ARTED?

Dear Pun Gents, I need a long list of short, clever names for a company that sells cool artwork with lots of clever puns and fun word play. ~Scott
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT
  1. Art Day’s Night
  2. Who Arted?
  3. Arty Har Har
  4. How Great Thou Art
  5. Piece Be With You
  6. Edge Cetera
  7. Etch Cetera
  8. Signonyms
  9. O Pun Minded
  10. SWordplay
  11. Drawma
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ONE TREK MINDS

Dear Pun Gents, My wife and I are entering in an 8 hour adventure race and need some help with a team name. The race is put on by 361 degrees and is apart of their Unbridled Adventure Race Series. Any help is appreciated. ~Matt, New Haven, IN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Give me a Race, Boss
  2. You Trek Me, Baby
  3. Trek or Treat
  4. Adventure Capitalists
  5. Unbridle and Groom
  6. Hour Big Adventure
  7. Kentucky Fired Up Chickens
  8. We 8 Hour Breakfast!
  9. One Trek Minds
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MICHELLE ON WHEELS

Dear Pun Gents,
I am new to roller derby, and 46 years old. Need a badass derby name. I love the gym (weight train), medieval dragons and fairies. I love Marvel and DC comics (Harley Quinn being a favorite villainess). I also ride a Harley of my own. ~Michelle, Casa Grande

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Michelle on Wheels
  2. Michelle Razor (hell raiser )
  3. Michelle O Bomba
  4. Dawn Genie and Dragons
  5. Play Fairie
  6. Aunt Gymima
  7. AC DC Comics
  8. Lois Villain (Lois Lane)
  9. Bruce Payne (Bruce Wayne)
  10. Harley Riser
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YOU COMPETE ME

Dear Pun Gents, We need a name for our joint bachelor & bachelorette party. it will be a field day with bride and groom teams competing in various games. Teams are co-ed and not guys vs girls. ~Tania

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Wedding, Steady, Go!
  2. Game, Set & Batchelor
  3. Wedding Bell Lap
  4. Game Marriage
  5. You Compete Me
  6. Victory’s Secret
  7. Say Yes to the Stress
  8. Vows of Revenge
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ONE TOUGH COSTUMER

Dear Pun Gents, I am opening an e-commerce store that will sell gifts, mostly personalized, party favors, and costumes. I have plans to expand to bricks & mortar in future and possibly event productions. The store will offer items similar to Things Remembered and Party City ~Melinda, Illinois

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. One Tough Costumer
  2. Favor Fave [Flava Flave]
  3. You Gift me Favor [You give me fever]
  4. Favor of the Month
  5. Party Your Life
  6. Knick Knack Jokes
  7. Dolly Party
  8. Supplies Party
  9. Take It Personally
  10. Party N Parcels
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BEVERLEY BONECRUSHER

Dear Pun Gents,

I really need a Roller Derby name ASAP. I’m new to derby. Anything to do with my name is cool or just something clever. I’m super into Star Wars/Trek/LOTR and reading. I’m a barista on the side and play ultimate frisbee too. ~Kim Waybright, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Millenium Falc Kim
  2. LOTR REY
  3. Falcon Dangerous
  4. Rey Anna
  5. AKimbo
  6. The Way Kim Dead
  7. Reyzor
  8. Darth Waybright
  9. The Cutest of Borg
  10. Menage a Troi
  11. Kim Il Skate
  12. Sauron Grapes
  13. Beverley BoneCrusher
  14. Wins A Latte
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