Puns on Demand

EITHER OAR

Dear Pun Gents,

My husband and I are thinking about starting a business and I’m hoping you can help us with a name.

We’re looking at being a paddle sports outfitter. Thinking canoes, kayaks and paddle board rental and guide service. Looking to do fishing as well. We also want to offer services in the winter like ice fishing, ice skating and snowshoeing.

We’re located in northern Minnesota in a smaller town, Bemidji. We’re known for our gigantic Paul and Babe statues and for being ‘the first city on the Mississippi River’. Our place is located on Lake Irving and on the Mississippi.

We’ve also thought about offering courses like an ‘outdoor school’

Ideas?

Thanks, so much, in advance!

~Tonya, Bemidji, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Either Oar
  2. Paddletude
  3. Strokelahoma
  4. Outdoorable
  5. Out and Fit
  6. Canoogle
  7. Take a Kayak [Take a hike]
  8. Boat and Sold
  9. Fun-to-Rentalism
  10. Paddle Springs Outfitters
  11. Minnie Miss Outfitters
  12. Go with the Float
  13. Where the Mississippi Floats
  14. Buoy Meets Miss (or Buoy Meets Babe)
  15. Babe’s Buoy
  16. Swing and a Miss Outfitters
  17. Go with the Flow
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A FRICAN GOOD TIME

Dear Pun Gents, we are a group of four people climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in two weeks. Can you come up with a clever name for our team? Extra credit: After we climb the mountain we are doing a four-day safari. Not sure if you can combine the two parts of the trip into a clever pun/team name. PS we are four blondes: Three boys and a girl. A Brit, a wanna-be Brit, and two all-American boys. Thanks! ~Dave, Laguna Beach, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. A Frican Good Time
  2. [It’s Time to] Mount and Kill a Man, Jaro! [hopefully someone in your group is named Jaro?]
  3. RastaSafarians
  4. So Far Safari
  5. Blondes Have More Fauna
  6. Climba Beings [Lima Beans?]
  7. Peak Safari Season
  8. Peak no Evil
  9. Kill A Man, Save the Animals
  10. The Hellephants
  11. Kilimanglophones
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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PERMIANODICAL

Dear Pun Gents, My company is coming up with a name for our new quarterly newsletter. We are an oil company engaged in upstream oil production, specifically Enhanced Oil Recovery (EOR). Our company name is Occidental Petroleum, often referred to as Oxy, and our business unit is called Permian EOR. The newsletter is only for our business unit. ~David, Houston, TX
 
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. The Permianodical
  2. Permian Post
  3. Oxy A Question
  4. Permannounce [permanence]
  5. EOR The Donkey
  6. E-ORatory
  7. The Petropost
  8. Oxy Talks
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SOLE WOMEN

Dear Pun Gents,
I need a name for a four-person walking team participating in a month-long, 10,000 step a day challenge to raise awareness for people with disabilities. It needs to be business appropriate. The team consists of four females (two of which are my daughters). Thank you in advance! ~Shannon, Groton

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The Active Quads
  2. The Gamma Quad Run
  3. The Women Combination
  4. The Four Ambulators
  5. Four Ward Motion
  6. The Fours of Nature
  7. The Kilo Grandmas
  8. Steppanyaki [Teppanyaki]
  9. Steppenwolves
  10. Walk on the Mile Side
  11. Never Admit De Feet
  12. Sole Women
  13. Sole Music
  14. A Motional IQ
  15. Pedomasochism
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PIE IN THE SKY

Dear Pun Gents,
I need a name or saying for pecan trees. A catchy phrase to get people to buy pecan trees. ~Kelsey, Savannah, GA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. What’s that? Go ahead and pecan
  2. Pecan your nose: it smells delicious.
  3. It does nut get butter than this
  4. Omega’wd! Pecans are good for you.
  5. A pecan tree: pie in the sky
  6. Choose the fat
  7. Let your branches drupe
  8. Plant Parenthood
  9. They’re nut-richious
  10. It grows in the dessert
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WHO WANTS TO BE A BRAZILIAN HAIR?

Dear Pun Gents,
I am looking for a name for my Waxing and Beauty lounge that I am opening. I would like a pun off of something waxing-related: strip, wax, rip, smooth, etc. I do all body waxing and specialize in Brazilians! ~Cora, Milwaukee, WI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Rip Van Pinkle
  2. VaJaycation
  3. Smooth Lover
  4. Baby got Wax
  5. Alablaster
  6. Hairoine [Heroine]
  7. Hair Her Roar
  8. Body House
  9. Hotbot
  10. The Beach Strip
  11. Jesus Shaves
  12. Brazilian Dollar Shavy
  13. Braz ma Tazz
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MULTIPLE SCLEROADIES

Dear Pun Gents, I need an MS Bike Team Name. Key words: Greg, Lutzen, Wisconsin, Diverse Group, Amateurs, Finish, Prevail, Multiple Sclerosis, Cycling, Team, Bike Ride. ~Kamala, Arlington Heights

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Rode to Victory
  2. Nothing to Lutzen
  3. Wishconsin
  4. Gregorian Chains
  5. Amatouring
  6. Amatours
  7. Amatour Hour
  8. MSaries
  9. EFF MS
  10. MS Messenger
  11. Sclero Heros
  12. Scleroadies
  13. Multiple Scleroadies
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PRESSURE LUCK

Dear Pun Gents, 
I am looking for several slogans for a new mobile massage company in Ca. Will be tweeting 2-4X per week. View the website at elevateinhome.com
60-120 minute massages to your home, office, hotel door. No happy endings, purely legit. We are competing with two established companies, but adding extras like custom music playlists, in-home chef prepared meal. No sexual innuendo please. THANKS! ~David J

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We put the rest in stressed
  2. Pressure luck
  3. We’re Hands Some
  4. Kneadful things
  5. Knot a Problem
  6. Above the Rest
  7. We knead your business
  8. We can help you with that pain ting
  9. Relax with real acts
  10. There Therapy
  11. Everybody must get hot stoned
  12. Shiatsu happens
  13. Go for a Tuina hand-wich
  14. Go for a Hot Cup of Jo [if you have a therapist named Jo]
  15. Rolfing makes me ROLFMAO
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BRINGING KINKY BACK

Dear Pun Gents,
We need table names for a work event for physical therapists. One that we came up with already is The Hot Pack. We need names for a few other tables and would love one to do with ice. The others could have anything to do with physical therapy.  ~Heather, Ridgefield, CT
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. The Stretchers
  2. The Functionaries
  3. Sprainiacs
  4. Knotty Nurses
  5. Bringing Kinky Back
  6. Pains in the Neck
  7. Knotty N Ice
  8. An Ice Group
  9. Sore Sports
  10. Injured Ninjas
  11. The 10 [or insert your group size] Reps
  12. Pain Train
  13. Pulling Your Leg
  14. Starbacks
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WICKÈD

Dear Pun Gents,
I love your puns! Hoping you can help me come up with a clever name for a small candle business I want to start. Fingers crossed! ~Victoria, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Wickèd
  2. Tallow Ho
  3. Tallow Can You Go
  4. Baby Got Wax
  5. Wax Of God
  6. Got A Light
  7. FlameBay [Flambé + eBay]
  8. Candelight [candle light]
  9. Candal [Scandal?]
  10. Flicker
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