Did you hear about the diplomat who skipped out on Thanksgiving dinner to negotiate an Eastern European territory swap, and ended up getting Hungary for Turkey?
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Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading...Why did the soldier scream as he carried burning rubble from the backpacker’s hotel?
Because he was taking hostel fire.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Why did the gadget lover praise the Lord when the PDF guide for his digital camera successfully opened?
Because the e-manual had come!
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...TOILET CAPER
My friend refused to be seen in public while carrying a 24-pack of toilet
paper – she was too mortified. I need a pun to belittle her. ~ Phyllis D, Unionville, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You’re just another em-bare-assed wiper!”
2) “You need to loo-sen up!”
3) “After all this time, you’d think not using a plastic bag to cover
your toilet paper would tissue a lesson!”
More esoteric:
4) “I bet you don’t subscribe to cable TV — you’re afraid of payper view!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...SISTER SHOOTOUT (SIBLING RIFLERY?)
My sister keeps taking my stuff without asking permission first. I’ve put up
with it for a long time, but I need some puns to help keep her away from my
valuables. Please help! ~ Nadia, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
“Does my room look like a chicken coop to you…?
No??
Then get your hens off my property!”
(3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...PILATE PROJECT
There’s this local band – called Pilate – that makes me giddy. If I were to bump into them on the street, or backstage at their next concert, what should I say to impress them? ~ Natasha, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1)”I read that Prince William listens to your music during his flying lessons… I guess he’s an heir playin’ Pilate!”
2) “I heard your album outside a pastry shop at 3 am – talk about pie late.”
3)”I searched through seven piles of my cds, but I can’t find yours. Should I check pile eight?”
FINALLY
4)”Wow, Pilate – you guys really knock me un-Pontius!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...LAB-ORATORY
A woman keeps calling our genetics lab asking if we would like to study her cat – as he has Down’s Syndrome. What should I tell her? ~ Meira, Queen’s University, Kingston, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
“Sorry, our lab doesn’t need a mentally handicapped cat – the mice we deal with are rat-arded enough!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...STUPORVISOR
One of my work colleagues has an infinite number of somewhat lame stories that he inflicts on anyone who will listen: usually me. Please save me from lameness with a pun for the next time he corners me! ~ Agnes G, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You must work in pre-production, because this is a story–bored.”
2) “Does this story have a point, because I can use it to poke out my eyes!” (NOT a pun per se, but still funny)
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