My friend refused to be seen in public while carrying a 24-pack of toilet
paper – she was too mortified. I need a pun to belittle her. ~ Phyllis D, Unionville, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You’re just another em-bare-assed wiper!”
2) “You need to loo-sen up!”
3) “After all this time, you’d think not using a plastic bag to cover
your toilet paper would tissue a lesson!”
More esoteric:
4) “I bet you don’t subscribe to cable TV — you’re afraid of payper view!”
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Loading...My sister keeps taking my stuff without asking permission first. I’ve put up
with it for a long time, but I need some puns to help keep her away from my
valuables. Please help! ~ Nadia, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
“Does my room look like a chicken coop to you…?
No??
Then get your hens off my property!”
(3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q. Would your father rather tend to his marijuana grow-op, or sing children’s songs?
A. Pop hoes the weed soil.
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...There’s this local band – called Pilate – that makes me giddy. If I were to bump into them on the street, or backstage at their next concert, what should I say to impress them? ~ Natasha, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1)”I read that Prince William listens to your music during his flying lessons… I guess he’s an heir playin’ Pilate!”
2) “I heard your album outside a pastry shop at 3 am – talk about pie late.”
3)”I searched through seven piles of my cds, but I can’t find yours. Should I check pile eight?”
FINALLY
4)”Wow, Pilate – you guys really knock me un-Pontius!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading...A woman keeps calling our genetics lab asking if we would like to study her cat – as he has Down’s Syndrome. What should I tell her? ~ Meira, Queen’s University, Kingston, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
“Sorry, our lab doesn’t need a mentally handicapped cat – the mice we deal with are rat-arded enough!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?
Because he who acetates is loused.
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...One of my work colleagues has an infinite number of somewhat lame stories that he inflicts on anyone who will listen: usually me. Please save me from lameness with a pun for the next time he corners me! ~ Agnes G, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You must work in pre-production, because this is a story–bored.”
2) “Does this story have a point, because I can use it to poke out my eyes!” (NOT a pun per se, but still funny)
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